ADHD

Get medicated.

It doesn't matter what you current or past hyperfixation is, or will be. You will get sick of whatever you study.

You either need to get medicated, or have iron will to get through with sheer discipline.

If you don't, you likely will not pass. So college will be a waste of your time and money. So you should either become a self taught programmer or find a stimulating job with no college needed.

Have you spoken to your department/college dean/administrator? I was extremely shy about it initially in college until a few Ds happened and I was basically forced into the conversation.... but if you let folks know clearly about your formal diagnosis and thoughts about ADHD then they can probably help out. For instance, they can making sure you can schedule classes during your daily peak and advise individual classes to take that will help fulfill requirements for both degree paths. They may also be able to advise resources that can help confirm a diagnosis and get you medically recognized.

Just FYI, I've been a programmer, data architect, senior engineer and manager with ADHD - you can make these things work but it's certainly something that comes with some unique challenges.

It sounds like you need stimulants. It's easier to cope with ADHD symptoms later in life, not because they go away, but because you learn how to accommodate them and have built your life around them. When you're 19, people still expect you to perform and compete with your peer group. If the psychiatrist doesn't want to help you with ADHD, then try a new one. Ask your parents to listen to the medical professionals. If you can get the meds, just take them religiously and grind through your work. It does get better, but not any time soon. So be brave and try to think about your direction in life when you have times of clarity and focus. They will come, they are just few and far between. Good luck! We are here if you'd like to chat.

I personally get a lot of benefit from caffeine. That may be able to help you some in the short term. This YouTube channel may help you find some coping strategies also: https://youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG?si=FkxBbmMp0VFkzoa0

I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive right now. That sounds really painful. I believe in you.

Hey is actually really great that you're figuring this out before it's too late. (Not that it's ever too late but I think you know what I mean)

I agree with someone else's suggestion that a second opinion is worth pursuing.

I don't know a lot about autism but I think it has some overlapping symptoms so I can totally understand the doctors hesitation.

I've only found medication somewhat helpful, and don't agree with the others that it is definitely what you need. But I do agree that you definitely do need help.

When I was in school (undiagnosed) one of the techniques that really worked for me was what I've now learned is called body doubling. Basically doing everything with someone else. I had a classmate that took good notes, but didn't really internalize them while taking them, so it was my responsibility to pay attention in class so I could explain his notes to him while we did the homework assignments together. It worked really well (in the classes we had together).

I highly recommend making your parent watch this conference which is available in 3 parts:

https://youtu.be/GyZtYzFq4WY?si=2QfG-Ph3rMTU0gbY

https://youtu.be/M8dLiH1LFx8?si=B-69xzy9fctq6WzQ

https://youtu.be/sPFmKu2S5XY?si=KX-oNWeSOw9EMA15

It doesn't cover much of the struggles coming from ADHD besides the most common ones but it's a very good introduction to neuroanatomy of ADHD and what it means in practice.

It will be all right. I have been in a similar and made it out fine. Take a deep breath, step back and try to look at the big picture.

1. What are the immediate problems? How big are they really (what is the worst that could feasibly happen, is it really as bad as you think it is, vocalize them)? Filter out the things that aren’t actually a big deal, prioritize the rest and work on them one at a time. No more, no less.

2. Make it a priority to get yourself a diagnosis and a treatment plan. If your current psychiatrist won’t help you, look for another one.

3. Don’t worry about the big picture stuff right now. You’re not in the right headspace to make any big decisions. If you can put your studies on pause I would advice you to do so until things have calmed down. Make sure you have something going on though that keeps you active and occupied without being stressful or taking over.

There's quite a bit of comments so I'll try to reply to them all at once. I saw comments suggesting medication and I agree with them. I've tried a bunch of different things in the past (not for adhd specifically but overall):

• to-do's (they work, unless i miss something and dont write it down)
• meditation
• cold showers and while these indeed worked to improve my performance when it comes to what i like. it never helped with school and my entire life i've been misled into thinking that it's lack of motivation/laziness rather than lack of focus, while it's actually lack of focus causing lack of motivation as you can probably tell, im rather immature despite and many tasks would be done by my father instead of me. he'll just insist on doing something for me when seeing me procrastinate for days. my mom's a pharmacist, thus the issue with medication. I tried to look for other sources of my inattention like depression, anxiety, autism, sleep deprivation, caffeine dependence or even diabetes. So i'm pretty sure its adhd (i wish it wasnt)

I had a talk with my mom and although she does not understand how can i not focus even i try. she agreed to schedule a visit with my usual doctor, ill ask for a non-controlled substance as a medication and i think it'll be fine