And here I am, just cluing into how the Disney movie "Fantasia" is literally artistic visual interpretations of old classic music. Maybe they say that in the movie? Blew my own mind here.
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023
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I'm aphantasic for sure, I think I'm even entirely mind-blind so to speak, I can't imagine smells, tastes, sounds, images, or textures.
I can still dream and I can even recall the details vividly the morning of, but I suspect myself of being on the autism spectrum as I've always been super obsessed with finer details. Besides those recollections aren't in a mental image, it's more so concepts.
When I think of an apple I know the physiology of an apple and thus I can discern the details onto paper (albeit crudely as I'm not artist) but I've always suffered with geometry since rotating a shape in my head is impossible, algebraic translations, flips, etc across the x or y axis are also super difficult for me to grasp. But I can deal with arithmetic easier.
In terms of getting better at it? I'm not really in an environment or situation where I could safely test out hallucinogens, but with my ADHD on top of suspected autism, I really don't think I want to see images in my head. In 2019 I had my deepest dive into depression, and while I was having a 2am panic attack (the peak of my depression I'd say) where I had endless racing thoughts just coming at me from all directions. The "noise" of my own thoughts overpowered everything. If I could imagine sound (and by extension, voices) beyond my own I might have actually gone farther than a 2 second peak of "I want to die".
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