this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2023
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[–] SpezCanLigmaBalls 134 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Lmao i love how we already have lemmy lore

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Another Lemmy meta moment was when someone asked whether bathing was environmentally friendly. To be clear, I think it's a perfectly legitimate question worth our attention, but I also found it kinda funny. That's why I made a meme of it. Here it is: https://lemmy.ml/post/75282

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hahaha fr its starting to feel like home.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

Reddit had narwhals and midnight, we have strict dietary guidelines.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What in the world did I miss

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Someone yesterday posted a question: Will be in a confined place for 3 days, cannot poop in that time, and will have to limit urination. What can I eat that won't make me poop/will inhibit pooping, would be great if the food reduced sweating too. Don't ask why.

Edit: found it!

https://kbin.social/m/[email protected]/t/78689/I-need-to-survive-for-3-days-without-pooping-and

[–] Ghostalmedia 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nothing yet. But in two more days, something hot is going to drop.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Someone posted earlier asking for the best means to not poop (and other requirements) for three days. Welcome to the next front page of the internet!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

I like the alliteration of Lemmy lore.

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

One time me and my girlfriend (now wife) went to visit my grandparents at their winter home in Texas. I say home, but it was just their RV that they drove down in the winter to avoid the snow. Anyway, It didn't want to blow up the RV with a huge steamy log, so I held it in for a few days. On the night of the 4th day, we ended up going to a swimming pool. While changing into my swimsuit in the locker room, I realized they had nice toilets there and it would be a good opportunity to unload.

I don't know what I was expecting, but for some reason I wasn't planning on 4 days worth of shit coming out at once. Not like soft, mushy turds, but one big strong firm log that just kind of piled up in the bowl like a shit pile pyramid.

I tried to give it a courtesy flush before I wiped, as is my custom, but that puppy was too big to go down. Seeing it was in a public toilet, it's not like I had a plunger or anything. I tried flushing a few more times, but the water was getting dangerously high in the bowl and I didn't want to deal with a turd water tsunami. So I had no choice but to leave it and duckwalk over to another stall where I could wipe my asshole before fleeing the scene.

So yeah. I guess my apologies to whoever had to eventually deal with that at the Brownsville Texas RV park circa 2005.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

Brownsville Texas

Apt I guess

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Lovely! Lemmings united by pooping stories! The moment we all are most vulnerable at.

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[–] Anestoh 35 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Who's hyped for no poop July?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I want to go back to Reddit now

[–] Ghostalmedia 4 points 1 year ago

July for Gastroenterologists is like April for American Accountants.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Congratulations, guys. This is officially Lemmy lore.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

where were you when the first ones spoke of the poop challenge

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[–] Ketram 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One time I was at a camp in 7th grade for a week (a religious Christian camp) where my friend and I were NOT religious, so we were being bullied. I was so deathly afraid of getting bullied while taking a shit that I didn't poop until the 6th day. I honestly barely remember it but I snuck out in the night just to take a shit, and it was absolutely horrendous. Pretty sure it felt like trying to pass a big old hard fruit or something, it was the worst and took forever. 2/10 Do not recommend.

[–] BeMoreCareful 5 points 1 year ago

That's the worst part about being constipated. Like it should be instant needed relief, but its just a trickle and not a torrent.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Lemmy's collective 2.9 day turtle head poking out is gonna be epic

[–] tj111 22 points 1 year ago (11 children)

I still need to know the details on this.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

That's a followup parody I believe. The original was a post asking how not to poop at all for 3 days.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I hate turc style toilets. And as a son of Moroccan immigrant we always went to Morocco 2 months a year. We were alternating between my grandmother's house (with turc style toilets) and our house (Western style toilets) every 3 or 4 days. I've always tried my best to take a dump in our house. But for some reason we once stayed at my grandmother's house for like 10 days. It was horrible to live through. I made the trip back to our house just to unload myself. A fricking log came out. Very very painful. As I was losing weight, I stopped in the middle of it because I felt different kind of pain. I was fricking bleeding. So I finished very painfully and I took my time to not do more damage. It was still hurting avec a week. TL;DR : I bled from my anus because I'm afraid of turc style toilets.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (5 children)

i unironically shit like once a week, maybe two times a week max. so i don't understand what the fuss is all about

[–] Mulkor 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Despite what the other comments say, this can be perfectly acceptable if this is has always been usual for you.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You should really consider paying your doctor a visit dude

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[–] GlitzyArmrest 6 points 1 year ago

Sounds like you need fiber

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

My brother was a weird child and did that too. The smell is compressed into one sitting if you did not know.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

my bunghole, it hurt

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Did you know pooping is actually illegal in Montana on Tuesdays?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Pop some opioids, gets you to day 2 with ease.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Very err high pressure situation there bob

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The what

Ooh, it's about the asklemmy guy, lmaoo

[–] ignotum 4 points 1 year ago

I was in the middle of one when i came across this meme, I lost before i could even start 😞

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