this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy

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I'm pushing half a century in an industry that is not kind to old guys. I try to fend it off but every now and then it hits me. I'm pretty sure this is not unique to my life experience, or it wouldn't have a term :-)

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[–] Sterile_Technique 41 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Used to get it every time I read an article on the current state of climate change. The dread has kinda just shifted to acceptance. Short of some miracle-tier scientific breakthrough or like literal divine/extraterrestrial intervention, we're just hard fucked and there isn't jack we can do about it.

Kinda adopted the personality of this dude:

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I've been watching Station Eleven, The OA, and The Leftovers. The idea we're all just jumping around different timelines/dimensions, repeating the same stories over and over is kind of fun. But then I remember I've never seen any evidence that's even remotely true :/

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It comes in waves for me. I'll feel fine for a few weeks, maybe a month or two, then I'll be deep in the depths for days, weeks straight. Mostly at night, staring out my bedroom window, contemplating the horror of the abyss.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have to agree with you here because it comes in waves for me as well. But often spread out between 4-6 months and then I'll get it for 2-3 weeks straight. It's very unpleasant and I'm sorry you're experiencing this.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Right back at you, yeah it's rough. I am seeking out getting medication for it but we'll see.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hope you can find some healing and stabilization.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thanks, and to you as well. Best wishes.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I've just started Rexulti, Klonopin, Chlonodine, and Ambien. Even though I'm only 5 days into it, I'm already starting to feel better.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

At least once a week. Sometimes almost daily.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Pretty much daily. I just want it to end

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Ah it is 5:30, time for my evening existential crisis. I have to be sure not to go over again as I don't want to miss my show.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Existential?

More like Exponential Dread.

[–] doppelgangmember 2 points 1 year ago

Ayooo!

sobbing

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Almost never.

I used to have it a fair amount, and medicate myself to avoid it a fair amount as well, and then just about exactly 20 years ago, in the span of about three days, I started feeling sick, got more and more sick, went to the doctor and discovered I had cancer, and had emergency surgery. Then I went through about six months of really awful chemotherapy.

I definitely wouldn't recommend having cancer as a cure for existential dread, but it worked for me.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

As I have gotten older, the frequency of episodes have decreased. In my early 40's now. I would say it occurs at least once every 3-4 months as opposed to weekly in my teens.

[–] Kittiesmom13 14 points 1 year ago

At 50+, I get it almost daily. I never had it before. Not sure if its the state of the world we live in now, aging, or a combination of both. All I know is I’m glad I’m old and won’t be around to see some of the stuff I’m scared of.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Wait, you guys stop having it?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Every day since I was in junior high about. Knowing that I have nothing to really look forward to except working a job I don't really want to afford to barely keep myself alive right up until the day I die, alone and forgotten.

[–] PoetSII 10 points 1 year ago

Hey, it could be worse, you could be a kid whose whole world is in the midst of melting down before they've even had a chance to realize what life could've been like if not for the shitty decisions of the preceeding generations.

[–] KindaLost 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Whenever I think of the future I get it bad. Disabled, poor, parents are my carers, couldn’t afford to live on my own even if I could. And every year the bushfires get bigger and closer to home. If I let it it constant dread would become my default state, but I am aware of this and try to focus on the now.

Not to say I don’t do my best to safe guard the future, have plans in place for if I ever need to navigate the things that scare me most. But I try not to dwell on it. Someday my parents will die, failing some sort of miracle I will end up in a care home without my pets. But I might also drop dead tomorrow in which case all my worrying will have been for nothing.

Right now at this very moment things are going ok and the number one thing that makes it not ok is worrying about a time in the future when its entirely not ok. But why meet it in the middle? I can’t change the rivers current, best I can do is try to steer on the odd occasion where the path splits.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I accept it as a part of living.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Not worried about being dead, really. I didn’t exist for millennia, I got my time in the sun, I won’t exist for the rest of time. It hasn’t bothered me.

Dying on the other hand sounds like a painful, grief-ridden, stress filled misery. I really don’t want to have anything to do with a drawn-out death. That’s what bothers me.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Always. I stopped caring. The world will burn, whatever. Who cares.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

"Who cares" is main reason why I have existential dread. Other reasons are that I'm just shit at living life.

[–] Manifish_Destiny 2 points 1 year ago

Same.

Its taking a long while to not still have moments of dread though.

World's fucked and burning. Somehow that's partisan.

Almost 15% of the population of my country thinks climate change is fake news.

Massive corruption in the highest levels of government, which no one can apparently do anything about.

Massive wealth inequality, American dream is dead.

No one can afford a house because of the wealth inequality and companies like blackrock buying them all..

Also, we are going over the tipping point for mass extinction.

Yeah we are totally fucked in every direction. Time to do some drugs about it I guess.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Weekly. I'm pushing 50yo too. My industry is dying a slow death.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Not sure to up our down vote lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Not enough of these say “hourly” for me to be comfortable answering.

Are y’all not freaking out every second or-…?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Often, although I suspect that I just feel bad, and need to make up stories to justify the bad feelings. So, it doesn't have to be existential.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Errr... daily? To one degree or another, probably not healthy.

[–] benwubbleyou 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It depends on where it comes from. There is a defeatism that comes from my cynicism, but there is also the existential dread lying awake at night that I deal with as well.

I’m curious about what specifically it is stemming from? In your post you mention feeling aged out in an industry you have become extremely accustomed to. Do you feel like your value is very much driven by what you do? If you were to be aged out and eventually replaced do you feel like a large part of yourself would be missing?

In regards to how often I experience dread, it can be an every day thing. But it depends on what it comes from. There is the dread from feeling powerless to change my environment or culture I am in, but I have found personally that living to bring joy in the small things helps with that. If the dread is from questioning my purpose if there even is one, it’s the same line of thinking for me as before.

I have no clue if that provides any value but I hope you find peace amidst what you’re going through.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I may be relatively young compared to other guys on this thread, but I'm also a victim of something like this. Recently I'm fighting with the company I've worked for over so tiny shit that it astonishes me, and terrifies because of consequences of incorrect actions from my side. I've understood years ago that I'm no one and will achieve nothing, so it hits less. This dread also comes in waves, as I was good for whole 3 months, and now to the same old shit. Sigh.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Almost Daily. It's a manifestation of my persistent melancholic depression. At some point, at least once almost every day, I'll spend some time more or less paralyzed thinking about strangelets or meteor strikes or other shit that can wipe out the world and there's nothing we can do about it. I'll then go looking for more reasons to just not bother living if I can get off the couch.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Maybe once a week? I don't worry about myself so much, but others down the line. Things look grim.

[–] NorthWestWind 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Everytime i listen minecraft music for a while, i have terrible trougts about the future, all the persons i know dying one by one, and everything i know and use today being forgotten somehow.

[–] waterbogan 2 points 1 year ago

Its been years since I've experienced this, thankfully. It used to be pretty much a daily thing when I was in a relationship with an alcoholic though, but I ended that over ten years ago

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Depends on what "existential dread" means.

[–] SendMePhotos 2 points 1 year ago

I'm glad I'm not alone. Thank you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Like 3-7 times a month

[–] Bunnylux 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Software development

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Depends on how we define it. I've dreaded my existence most of my life.

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