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this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2025
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No Stupid Questions
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Do you know people like this? Dating someone you're not romantically interested in is basically just being friends.
I do, she wants to date women but can’t find any that attract her
This is probably not at all what this person is like, but the way I read this made me picture someone desperate to prove that they’re cool and hip by being part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I have never heard of anyone like this, though I have heard of someone very European claiming to be native American for the street cred so I wouldn’t say no one would ever do the same with sexuality.
If you aren't attracted to them but you want to date them, what would you end up doing that you wouldn't do with a friend?
- Be in an exclusive relationship that doesn't involve sexual activity?
- Get jealous if they hang out with or say they love anyone else?
- Engage in sexual activity but not enjoy it?
I'm not the OP, but their question was pretty much describing me.
For me, it's about intimacy. I value intimacy. Hugging, kissing, touching, holding hands, sharing moments, laying on the couch together watching TV etc. Those are things that I don't do with my friends, and aren't things that I'm looking for from my friends.
Asexual folk have developed language that talks about the way they navigate similar situations. Sex averse, sex neutral and sex positive. So even though I'm not ace, the terms apply in a similar way to my relationships. Using these terms, I would describe myself as sex neutral. Which is to say that I don't seek it out, and I don't miss it. Yet, it's also a very strong form of intimacy, which I value a great deal, and as an expression of intimacy, it's very much something I'm happy to share with my partner.
Said person just finds women hot but wouldn’t get jealous nor have sex
Probably heterosexual, biromantic.
I don't know people who date folks they're not attracted to... that said, you can be homoromantic, heteroromantic, etc. Romantic and sexual attraction can be different.
What if this person is sexually attracted to only men and can’t find romantic or sexual attraction towards women and just wants to? (It’s not me it’s someone I know)
That’s called being straight
I think this person is confused tbh.
If they genuinely have neither romantic nor sexual attraction to any women, just wishing they did, I'd call it "wanting to fit in/wanting to belong with a specific group" (in this case lesbian/bi groups/people), having no connection at all to one's sexual orientation. Just a characteristic of humans social nature.
Or being traumatized by men or something.
Okay if she thinks she would like to but can't find anyone who fits the bill then there is still a chance it wouldn't work even if she does eventually find someone. So yes I would call that bicurious but it could very well be straight with a kink. Sometimes telling apart which things only work as a fantasy isn't easy.
That's pretty much me. I don't really have a name for it. I just call myself queer, or sometimes panromantic.
Biromantic
homoindifferent?