this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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There’s definitely some additional nuance (like a pronouns in bio/username situation) but this should cover the broad needs of anyone who is approaching this with good faith.

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[–] ZILtoid1991 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

There's a lot of transphobes that use they/them to not acknowledge the pronouns of trans people, but also to skirt around anti-misgendering rules of social media. I call it "passive-aggressive misgendering".

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

Definitely :( and it’s a super hurtful thing.

But! of course! that only happens when the offending person knows the pronouns and uses they/them anyway (right side of the flowchart). I see you are already getting downvotes from people who are so riled up they assumed for ya you meant both cases. Ugh.

Thanks for being normal ❤️

[–] Rhoeri 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

I don’t understand why this is so difficult for some people. It’s not like a whole lot has changed right?. Most everyone have already been using they/them for quite some time. The only different being is now, it’s best not to assume gender and default to they/them until asked otherwise.

The way I see it is If these people are able to make the incredibly mind-bogglingly difficult transition from who they once were, to who they are now- including not just facing, but overcoming the emotional, physical, and social challenges- in comparison, it’s should take very little effort for anyone to transition their use of pronouns to properly accommodate them.

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[–] NRjeez 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Ask them, "why do you care so much about what genitals you think I have?"

[–] JamesNZ 7 points 5 days ago (11 children)

This is so rubbish. Almost everyone is a he or she, so just use that. On the very very very rare instance you get it wrong, say sorry and use the correct one from then on. Unless you forget, the appologise again when corrected. Yes I am imply it is on the person who got called the wrong pronoun to correct the one who made the mistake.

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