this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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Asklemmy

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[โ€“] CookieOfFortune 3 points 1 day ago

https://www.wikihow.com/Mind-Your-Own-Business

Alone I guess? In solitude. At least I wouldnโ€™t be bothering anyone else.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

How to treat a collapsing trachea in chihuahuas

Not sure if I'm the chihuahua or the one treating the chihuahua in this case

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

How to drink Prune Juice

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I was thirsty okay?!

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Disaster Preparedness > home security

How to Make a Tripwire: Best Methods

Craft a DIY tripwire with this guide

Soโ€ฆ an accident involving a tripwire boobytrap that I set up?

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Learning how to fight girls...

[โ€“] Madblood 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Evildave 6 points 2 days ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

I WARNED YEH!
DIDN'T I WARN YEH?

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

An exceedingly dangerous activity indeed.

[โ€“] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm dying in a religious conflict

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"what to do when someone texts you an apple emoji."

I'm extremely curious to see how this plays out.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

https://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Middle-School-Crush-to-Like-You

UUUHHHHH


monday


inhales

I like coming here.

In break times, i often get to see her, with her long skirt, her adorable jacket, and her soft, long, brown hair.

She is rather tall in her friend group, she must be 13, maybe 14...

It doesn't stop me for loving her even if i am in my 40's.

Nothing can.

It's not a barbaric attraction like thoses weird pedophiles.

My love is pure.

She's made to be mine.

"I want to be with her together."


tuesday


She just leaved the school to buy her meal.

Today she did attach her hairs into two braids, with ribbons at the ends.

She is so cute.

"I absoluetly want to be with her"


She seems to be alone right now.

"Is it my chance?"

Slowly, gently, silently, I put some chloroform on the piece of cotton.

Softly, purely, nicely, I approach her from behind.

Strangely, surprisingly, quickly, she does a barrel roll and a backflip, and face me with an assault rifle.

Rougly, straightly, immediatly, she say: "ladies and gentleman, we got him"

Painly, horribly, trementously, i get perfored multiple times by supersonic projectiles, and fall on the ground.

"aww man"

I just died trying to get a middle school crush to like me.


Guys don't call the police it's for the thing

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

FBI OPEN UP

[โ€“] Redex68 7 points 2 days ago

"How to confront a cheating husband"
That actually makes sense as a way to die, I just need to become gay now.

[โ€“] Surp 3 points 2 days ago

How to measure your pants

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ok, so I guess I'll need to move to the USA in the future

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[โ€“] otacon239 19 points 3 days ago

I think this speaks for itself

[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Apparently I'll die becoming Israeli

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[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Initiative in D&D 5E

I die in a conflict where I tell a Wizards of the Coast zombie that Paizo and Pathfinder are the best, which, honestly, I should've seen coming.

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[โ€“] Odo 9 points 3 days ago

Yes, dying from the most dangerous of human endeavors: small talk.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

"How to dispose of mercury"

Huh, that's actually more realistic than I thought

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm dying of stupidity, apparently.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

https://www.wikihow.com/Grow-Dates-Indoors

Guys I'm scared, my wife has been trying to grow dates indoors. Send for help, my time is near.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

I guess that's pretty close

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Died running indoors with limited space.

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago
[โ€“] BreadOven 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)
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[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago

well hmm, This could be interesting

[โ€“] moktor 2 points 2 days ago

Balancing a Motorcycle Tire. Seems reasonable.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Died eating sea urchins... Yeah that kind of tracks actually.

[โ€“] donuts 13 points 3 days ago (2 children)
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[โ€“] Nurse_Robot 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[โ€“] lama 5 points 3 days ago

Lol at least this kind of makes sense: https://www.wikihow.com/Take-Clenbuterol

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

I managed to get this: How to Fire a Gun.

So it's at least plausible.

[โ€“] weeeeum 7 points 3 days ago

How to run away from an abusive home.

I was already planning to run away from an abusive home.

This is horrifying

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

I spent way to long thinking it was "How to make Scorpion man miss you". Thought I was gonna get stung.

[โ€“] BonesOfTheMoon 4 points 2 days ago

How to cut wispy bangs. Well I'd gladly die before having bangs again.

[โ€“] son_named_bort 3 points 2 days ago
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