this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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all 37 comments
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[–] [email protected] 56 points 11 months ago (2 children)

To call a taxi you can go in the red zone but the hand has to be sideways and you must be doing a frantic fast waving while screaming “TAXIII” in a high pitch voice. Also get on your tippy toes.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

And it’s not an open palm gesture, you point only your index finger up. Otherwise it looks like you’re just waving at someone

[–] beanz00_ 1 points 11 months ago

if you face your palm to the side rather than to the ground it looks less bad

[–] [email protected] 48 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"Call waiter" is also grade school "Pick me, I know the answer!"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You have to say "oohoohooh!" along with it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Omg I remember kids in middle school making that sound like they're in a zoo. But then again, I did go to a school that felt like a zoo.

[–] sparemethewearysigh -1 points 11 months ago

Only if you’re the Hermione Granger type lol

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Help! I put my arm in the red zone and now I hear marching outside.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago

Lemme fix that for you real quick...

[–] theangryseal 6 points 11 months ago

Icht bin schleebin unst der Fuhrer! 9! 9!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (2 children)

As a German I would not even think of trying any of these except Rest or Call Waiter.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (3 children)

As an American, I almost never have to call a waiter because they swing by every five minutes to make sure I'm not dead.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yes, but not one time have they swung by to find you dead, so it's obviously working.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I... I can't find fault in that logic.

[–] kibiz0r 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As a midwesterner, I never call a waiter because I don’t want to bother them.

[–] shadowSprite 15 points 11 months ago

As an introvert with social anxiety I never call a waiter because I eat my food at home away from people like the rest of the losers

[–] MisterEspinacas 6 points 11 months ago

"If you're alive, could I interest you in some dessert? We have a wide selection of desserts! If you don't order dessert and you're not dead, please leave. Your table is useless because you aren't buying anything more!"

[–] expatriado -3 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Honestly, when I made the username I didn't really think that it would be taken into correlation. That's why there's "dev" at the end because I just wanted a cool username and combine it with my hobby.

Just a disclaimer because we also do not joke about what our ancestors did.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Interesting hobby for a dev

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

I will never touch my keyboard ever again

[–] MisterEspinacas 13 points 11 months ago

Do parents pet their children now? So strange!

[–] Syrc 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Red zone is “how to get in Italy’s governing party” (/s but not really that much)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/HDD4GNiO5ag

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

I'm just practicing to stop Japanese katana with bare hands

[–] Siegfried 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The red zone is how we stop the bus in argentina

[–] Mvlad88 6 points 11 months ago

What's the difference between Hitler and Winnetou?

15 degrees.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

It's very easy to solve by kinking your arm a little.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Just bring out the other hand and go for a dab

[–] MaxVoltage 0 points 11 months ago