Asklemmy

my mother got me a desk light and then immediately stole it for her quilting because it was full spectrum white

I got it back years later when the thing holding it up had gotten so loose you needed to duct tape it

My mother told family I was into geology which I wasn't, so for my ninth bitrhday I got books about rocks and the hugest fucking hammer.

The hammer felt a little bit cool until I tried it and it was completely useless on the granit which is the only rock in the region, the only thing happening was leaving marks on the stone and shoot mini splinters in the eyes. Totally unuseful for anything else.

Like this but bigger (in my memory, i was only 9), and also cheaper (black head, cheap wood handle):

I saw a horrible gift get thwarted by a game shop owner who thankfully gave a shit. 40ish year old woman was shopping for her son, "oh Superman 64? Is that a good one?"

Dude didn't mince words. Told her flat out it was the worst game on the 64

I asked my Aunt for R.E.M. at the height of their popularity. She gave me an old REO speedwagon album that had none of their hits on them. All in all, that's the worst, so i've done very well.

Most of you didn't get me anything at all last year!

My mom once gave me a cat litter scoop like this one

in my Christmas stocking. This was not, to my knowledge, in the context of a conversation about needing to clean up after the cat more often, but for all I know it was her way of subtly trying to get the point across.

A broken propeller toy wrapped in a ripped up plastic grocery bag.

We had an optional secret santa in 5th grade, meaning no kid was forced to participate if they didn't want to. It ran the month of December, you were supposed to give 1 gift a week. The first week I got nothing. The second week I got a single marble. The 3rd week I got a single pencil. The 4th and final week I got a tin of Royal Dansk Danish butter cookies. As a 5th grader, it was the biggest fucking letdown, especially when all the other kids were getting candy, toys, etc, every week.

As a depressed 16 year old boy I received a self help book from my mother. I was offended. Never opened the book. Like in hindsight I guess she thought I needed help and the book would somehow do that, but all I saw was that my mother thought something was wrong with me.

A fruit roll up. Some time a few months before christmas, my sister and I were fighting over the last fruit roll up in the box. She got it initially, but I got it in the end. She put it in several boxes Matryoshka style, added weight making it seem heavier, wrapped it, and put it under the tree. Imagine my surprise, after going through several layers to find that fruit roll up. Worst. Christmas. Ever.

XXL pajamas. I'm a medium bordering on small so I was swimming in them.

I think I also got a video game for a console I didn't have but the gesture was nice.

I've always been a computer/theatre nerd. When I was a teen my parents bought me a bike. I did not express nor have any interest in a bike, but I'm sure my mom felt I needed to go outside more and spend less time on the computer. A week or two later while upset at me about something else she complained that I haven't even used my new bike yet.

A sack of potatoes and cat litter.

From my mom who usually shops year round for Christmas to save the hassle of buying at the end of the year.

My siblings got stuff that they wanted and could use and I got... Those two things in a very flimsy laundry basket.

She did not approve of my girlfriend and probably me living with her.

They weren't even wrapped.

Cop gave me a speeding ticket for my birthday. I'm counting it as a present because he said, "Happy Birthday" when he gave it to me.

In middle school, there was this one super unpopular girl that gifted me acne medication for Christmas.... Unprompted. We weren't even friends and yes, I had acne problems like most teens did.

I never bullied anyone in my life before and since, but I did that year.... This was why she was so unpopular. The year after, she called 1 of the 2 only black kids the N word, got her ass kicked and either removed or expelled from school.

I have no idea why anyone would go around picking fights, especially with no friends to begin with. Before anyone asks, no, no mental health issues.

Edit: I also wasnt "popular" and had very little friends too. I mean, it wasnt right either way to turn bully either but I was young

My mother got me Rogaine for my birthday last year. Pretty rude and uncalled for I felt but now I've stopped cutting it and have the longest hair I've ever had so I guess she hit a nerve with that one