Transfem

I don't know your life situation. But as a trans woman from the Bible belt, who got disowned by my family, divorced, abandoned by all of my friends and financially devastated as a result of coming out and transitioning: it's absolutely worth it.

Yeah it does get normal. I’m not going to pretend I know what it’s like for you, I was 20 when I started hormones. But I can say I waited until it was “transition or die” and I regret the time I lost. If you know where you’re headed it’s ok to skip the years of unhappiness.

It depends on the doctor you see. I recommend getting in touch with your local trans community and finding out who provides good care. My endocrinologist lets me lead in my healthcare, so I tried bicalutamide and estradiol valerate injections before switching to just monotherapy injections (where you inject enough estrogen that the testosterone is blocked). He lets me control my own dose and schedule, etc.

The doctor should prescribe you estrogen if you experience dysphoria, they can't force you to continue taking it if you don't want to, and they can't force you to socially transition - but they can write you a prescription based on your dysphoria, yes, and that allows you to try HRT and see how you feel.

I have read that some head hair can come back depending on how long ago it disappeared including hairlines moving down (I've also heard the reverse, of testosterone causing the hairline to recede in trans men), and there are also surgical options I have heard of. My hairline is a major source of dysphoria for me, and I am considering FFS for it. The sooner you get on estrogen the better with this one.

I wouldn't count on height changing by a lot, but because of changes to the curvature of the spine on estrogen you might lose an inch or two - and I have heard this is true from people IRL as well. I haven't yet witnessed it myself, but I'm like 10-ish months on estrogen.

Body hair will change radically, becoming lighter in color and thinner. A lot of my dysphoria comes from body hair as well. I highly suggest looking into laser and/or electrolysis, but those are long-term / permanent changes that you might want to consider after starting estrogen (if you aren't ready to transition yet). You can always do the hair removal without transitioning and it's worth it for how it will alleviate dysphoria, but because it's a permanent-ish change you might just want to give it some thought.

In my experience, once you start making these changes it's so much better with them that you won't want to go back, but you have to try things yourself and see how you will feel - not everyone is the same even if there are common tendencies or patterns.

Okay, rule number 1 about transitioning: The best time to start was for almost all of us a number of years in the past. The second best time is now. It’s never too late!

I carried the same weight until I came out at 32, and let me tell you, it's heavier than you'll ever realize until you put it down and start unpacking it. But the change in my life in just over a year has been literally unbelievable.

It's made me extremely antisocial and basically incapable of functioning as an adult. I thought there was something very, very wrong with me, because here I was, an otherwise "normal" adult who just couldn't function for seemingly no reason. I'd shoved the feelings away so well when I was a teenager (because I didn't know that being trans was an option, among other things) that I forgot how bad they were. After coming out I suddenly began remembering all the self-hatred, self-disgust and so forth, and even though I haven't started hrt yet, it's made it way easier to love myself when I can look at my body and say, "it won't be much longer..."

🥹

Who's a good girl? You are! You're a good girl! I know that you're a good girl because you're asking these kinds of questions about yourself and because you want to support your friend. I also know that if you're anything like me then your feelings are currently doing backflips screaming, "that's me, that's me! Aaaaaaaaaaa, call me that again, again, again!"

Don't wait sweetie, it sounds like you and your newly discovered trans friend have a lot of things you could do together, like trying to find cute clothes that fit! Just be careful you don't accidentally overwhelm her, she's going through some Big Feels too, but having you there will probably help a lot.

And try to avoid focusing on the imperfections. That was something I used for a long time to talk myself out of it. Try to find silver linings instead.

I believe in you sweetie, you can do it. Be the best girl you can be. I know you can!

Edit: oh yeah, if you're into gaming and already have a decent PC, look into VRChat. VR headsets should be mandatory for trans people. 10/10 euphoria generator (though personally I found it difficult to get immersed until I got leg and hip trackers).