Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

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Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

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Close friend came out as a trans woman to me and has started transitioning. She doesn't know that I am trans too. (self.mtf)

submitted 1 month ago by edg to c/[email protected]

32 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Long story short, I've known that I was trans long before I had even heard the word. There were signs as early as 4 years old and I knew by the time I was 8. I'm in my late 30's now and I had come to a kind of peace about not transitioning. It's something that I want but because of life, family, and a lot of fear I decided not to.

Recently a very close friend who I've know for decades came out to me as a trans woman.

I want to tell her about myself but I'm worried about planting seeds of doubt about her transition because I've known I was trans for so long and yet haven't started transitioning myself. I'm afraid that if I try and explain why that she might internalize my reasons. If that makes sense. I've never told anyone my truth and I'd so love to have someone to talk to about it. Especially since my friends transition is causing me to second guess myself.

I would appreciate some thoughts on whether I should tell my friend.

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[–] edg 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's basically what I'd be looking at. You are a very strong and brave woman.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Honestly, I don't really think I am. I'm just surviving and doing what I can to cobble together a life worth living.

Like, yeah. Transition has been really hard, but so was my pre-transiton life, just in different ways. Nowadays I feel like I have so many more tools emotionally to deal with the constant onslaught of sorrow that life has always been.

[–] captainlezbian 2 points 1 month ago

There’s courage in actively choosing struggle over misery

[–] edg 2 points 1 month ago

Well, to me you are incredibly brave.

Thank you for telling me your situation. I don't know what's going to happen with my life but hearing from you and the others means a lot, and makes me feel less alone.