this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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Transfem

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Long story short, I've known that I was trans long before I had even heard the word. There were signs as early as 4 years old and I knew by the time I was 8. I'm in my late 30's now and I had come to a kind of peace about not transitioning. It's something that I want but because of life, family, and a lot of fear I decided not to.

Recently a very close friend who I've know for decades came out to me as a trans woman.

I want to tell her about myself but I'm worried about planting seeds of doubt about her transition because I've known I was trans for so long and yet haven't started transitioning myself. I'm afraid that if I try and explain why that she might internalize my reasons. If that makes sense. I've never told anyone my truth and I'd so love to have someone to talk to about it. Especially since my friends transition is causing me to second guess myself.

I would appreciate some thoughts on whether I should tell my friend.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In my humble opinion, keeping the truth to yourself only for the reason that you believe they cant “handle” it (causing changes in decisions) would be a little arrogant

Because in a way youre the one concluding how she will react to the truth.

Obviously there plenty of other reasons why it would be valid to keep the truth. But to me, this reason which you gave isnt one of them unfortunately

[–] edg 3 points 1 month ago

That's a fair take. After seeing everyone else advice I think I was projecting too much.