Sometimes I try to use my orb to envision myself without my orb. Problem is the orb cannot recall a future where it doesn't exist. I ponder a future without the orb and that future scares me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Dear Sir or Madam,

Please be aware that using your Orb™ in a manner not specified in the Orb Owner's Manual could potentially violate the Orb Terms of Service and void your Orb's extended warranty. This includes using your Orb to cause or predict the outcome of a logical paradox, reversing non-local entropy beyond your legal jurisdiction, or inverting the Higgs field to generate negative mass.

Thank you for being a loyal Orb™ customer and have a great day!

[–] FlashMobOfOne 8 points 1 month ago

A year and a half ago when I stopped competing in roller derby, I had a similar epiphany the first night I was at home with no obligations on my time. It was revelatory. I can literally just read, drink wine, and relax after work now. Glorious.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What! That's what I am? I had no idea I was a wizard!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Yer a wizard, sammy

[–] MutilationWave 2 points 1 month ago

Yeah you become a wizard if you make it to 30 still a virgin.

[–] Coldgoron 4 points 1 month ago

Learned the other day that the original Merlin was a fairy. Source = Stuff you should know podcast, about Fairies.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

why do you have to attack me like that? lol