this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Screw debates, I want to see who makes the best ASMR video

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Vance couch fucking. Mics in the cushions.

Are you sure you want this?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

🎶 let's get it on... 🎶

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Trump can rub two hamburgers together.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

just him gently chanting "bing bing bong" on repeat

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

White noise is made of samples with uniformly random values. If you generate enough of it with true randomness, it will include an audio recording of the past 24 hours in Kamala Harris's life. (Of course, you're as likely to stumble upon it as on any other possible 24-hour audio.)

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"I'm Kamala Harris, and I approve this blessage"?! You stupid monkey!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I like that you perfectly transcribed her encrypted call with Biden but why is it interspersed with "snarky commentary by Ben Shapiro"?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Scary to think the election might come down to wich candidate has the better jre showing.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I wanna see them both on hot ones

[–] TheBat 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Trump will melt by the 4th bottle

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

I can't see him getting past the 2nd. But will it be better or worse than dj kahlids?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Oops! All Da Bomb

[–] paraphrand 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie 8 points 4 months ago

Translation for our East Asian friends:

[–] Evotech 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Retrograde 2 points 4 months ago

Was it tasty at least?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

The Sleepy Joe vote!