this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
441 points (95.8% liked)

Greentext

4028 readers
1245 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 11 months ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

does anyone have lucid dreams that realistic?

[–] [email protected] 81 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Lucid dream rookie! If the lucid dream happens, and you're in the same place you fell asleep, well actually if that happens the majority of the time it will become a sleep paralysis episode. But, if it isn't, always teleport yourself the fuck away from the location.

Ain't no way you want to risk that you're too close to being awake (or in this case not asleep at all). I'd wager anon fell asleep, woke up but was having a hypnopompic hallucination, and that explains the text on the board.

[–] toynbee 31 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I just assumed he was in some foreign language class.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Buddahriffic 8 points 4 days ago

Or maybe just generally illiterate and the greentext was posted via Dictaphone.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Easiest way to know if you're lucid dreaming is to try some magic abilities. I usually try flying out of the window from room I were. This hasn't failed me yet. And anon definitely wouldn't get into this awkward situation with this either.

(only half of this is a joke)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Until you jump out of the window and land face first on concrete

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Thats why you just levitate a meter or so from the floor

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

i prefer shitting to the moon

[–] JusticeForPorygon 110 points 4 days ago (2 children)

If God is real he'd have let me stay illiterate

[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 days ago (1 children)

God doesn't come around these parts

[–] Iheartcheese 33 points 4 days ago

I do. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago

God is infinitely groovy and infinitely funky, but the Bible forgot to tell you that he is also infinitely getting dividends from his shares of Penguin Books, so he has a stake in this.

[–] [email protected] 81 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Fake but at least it isn't gay.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

touches tits

has a seizure because of that

Gay AF. His body rejected a girl.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Anon is femanon, very gay indeed.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 days ago

No such thing

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

There are no women on the internet bud.

[–] Maldreamer 30 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Meh, He should have done a reality check in the first place before doing anything

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 days ago

He did. It was just a poor choice of reality check.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 4 days ago

So I'm supposed to believe that OP didn't kill himself right after this happened? Guys, I think this story is fake.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 days ago

This would've gone a lot better if anon simply apologised and explained that he was half-asleep. But no, they just had to make it more akward.

[–] psycho_driver 21 points 4 days ago

At least Anon got to feel a boob. It might be a while.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

Imagine if this was real. Funny af

load more comments
view more: next ›