Bisexual

Awesome.

As a trans person being and being around bisexual (or trans) people is both exciting and calming, because sexualities and gender (and dysphoria) do not really hinder much.

General queerphobia is much more prevalent and daunting than biphobia is for me. Sure, biphobia is awful, but biphobia seems more solvable to me than queerphobia by strangers, because fellow queers are often more possible to be reasoned with, while hot-headed blokes with a religiously queerphobic upbringing are just alarming and can really only be brought back by immense pressure from their peers (not me).

I’m married to a woman, we have kids, 20 year relationship, a whole life, so these days I see myself as more Bowiesexual than bisexual.

My beautiful, amazing, wonderful soulmate pretty much defines my sexuality. If there was an orientation that meant ‘only attracted to her’ then I’d be that.

Strictly speaking I am a bisexual man and I do like being who I am. I think that’s implicit about being a certain way, you like certain things. i like being in touch with and able to freely express my femininity as a man. Sure, my heterosexual male pals can’t help raising an eyebrow if I wear nail polish from time to time. That’s fine, it’s ok to be ‘controversial’.

I think ata a certain age you just settle in and it’s like: ‘I am here, I’ve dealt with it, if you can’t then you don’t have to - the door is over there.’

Love it but I only really share it when I feel like it. I'm pretty straight passing so it's easy for me to just live my life. My favorite thing about it, is how it really opened my eyes to all the fun stuff in the world I was dismissing because it didnt fit with normal gender roles. It helped me find security in my masculinity and it improved my ability to communicate my feelings. Hanging out with other members of the LGBT community had a profound effect on my politics as well and helped me realize some of my speech was rather hurtful. I went from a conservative, to an independent, to a heavily armed socialist volunteering as an election judge for my DFL caucus district in rural Minnesota. It's also given me the good fortune to help other LGBT community members, bigots are a lot less likely to argue with an angry straight passing weirdo in public.

It's had a really positive effect on my life, and even helped me meet my bi-wife.

Yes. Statisticslly speaking, it means more hotties. And the opinions of bigots aren’t going to run my life.

It is who I am, but I will say that coming out complicated some male friendships in ways that weren’t present when I was in the closet. I got the impression that it had more to do with other people’s insecurities than it did with something about me changing though.

I saw some stats from Norway where bi experienced more negativity than homo. I was surprised, but if LGBT people seem to hate you it makes a bit more sense. That's not nice.

I wouldn’t be any other way.

Hmm. That's an interesting question that I'm not entirely certain how to answer. There's a lot about myself, including my personality, that I would change if I could. But being bi isn't one of them. It's also something that when I accepted the label felt somewhat freeing. I no longer denied certain things about myself. I wouldn't want to go back to before that. But it's also not something that I did choose, it's just something that I am.

As for the prejudice against bisexuals, even in the community, my feelings on it are that some people will simply be hateful. There are plenty of reasons people might be hateful towards you. Your sexuality is only one of many. One of the baseless ones, too. You know that if someone hates you for being bi the kind of person they are at that point. The kind that will judge you based on how you were born rather than the choices that you've made in life. I don't see appeasing those kinds of people worthy of changing something about myself. Again, I have much that I regret and many things I would change about myself. But being bi, no. Does that mean I like it or dislike it? Neither. It's just something that... Is.

If you don't love yourself then that's a you problem. People will hate you regardless, even if you're straight and cis and 'normal'. Of course there is more judgement when it comes to queer people but it is what it is and I just live my life how I want. Don't waste your energy thinking about other people's opinions and feeling bad for yourself.

Counterpoint; why would I dislike it?

Being pan/bi gives me the full scope of attraction to all genders and I think that’s fucking great. If people dislike that or can’t accept that, that’s their problem. I’m happy to continue cutting ties with these sorts of people. Surround yourself with people that accept you for you.