Bisexual

Hello nice people,

Im in my early 30s and only came out to myself and wife a couple years ago during lockdown.

Fast forward to now, a few years later. I’ve only been with 2 other dudes and basically only once. I’m talking with a guy and we seem to mesh pretty well but I’m feeling sick to my stomach with anxiety over the prospect of meeting him in person. I’m way in my head about it. I definitely want to meet and enjoy what I enjoy but I’ve got a huge mental block which makes me feel like I’m doing something bad and immoral. Even with full permission from my wife and I’ve done this before and thoroughly enjoyed this. My stomach aches and it’s like I hold myself to crazy standards that I myself would look down on someone else if they had those standards too. It’s like I’m homophobic to myself and myself only. I don’t see other gay or bisexual dudes as weak or less than but if I indulge in anything homosexual, it feels like I’m weak and less than.

If anyone has experienced this or knows someone who feels this or if ya have some wisdom or even just a related story, I’m all ears. I know a therapist is arguably the best person to deal with this but I’m curious what the community thinks.

I recently got some Pride merch from my work, a Hoodie with our logo in the flag colors and a tumbler to go with it. We've also been starting regional teams groups and doing poetry and pottery events. Its nice to work somewhere so accepting.

I usually go to a smaller community Pride event and this year my recently out sister is going with us so I am pretty excited for that.

Anyone else got big plans??

Abrosexuality is sexuality that changes over time, similar to genderfluidity.

I got my ears pierced a while back and I've mostly worn easy to miss jewelry, but my SO got me these big dangly cat earrings for xmas and I decided to finally wear them. Still absolutely terrified to go into like a store or something but its been fun around friends and family. Its the most feminine thing I've done around people I've only ever presented very masculine to so its been kind of heartracing. No too bad reactions yet though so thats a good thing.

I know its not necessarily a bi thing to be more feminine but I've definitely avoided things like this in the past to "seem straight"

I (guy) considered myself straight most of my life. Didn’t even think about it. A couple years ago I had some sexual going ons with a dude and enjoyed it, I would happily engage in such things again. This continued for a while. People being attractive is the hook on the end of the line, but having an attractive personality and deeply caring for one another is what I really want. I guess that makes me bisexual. Not that anyone but two of my friends know.

Now I’ve moved and am longing for someone to hold me. I would’ve (probably fruitlessly) gone for women before (and still have interest in them) but I have a concern of anyone taking me the wrong way. I imagine women have some degree of caution when being approached by guys. A minority of guys may approach women with the intent of having sex with them and I’m sure that concern is in the back of their head when a guy they don’t know well is talking to them. I’m concerned about inappropriately coming off this way so that plus a lack of past successes has made me give up hope on that front. Conversely, I feel ‘I’ve got this’ about approaching guys I find attractive. It’s something new to me. (When it comes to expressing romantic interest, though, I’ll probably find the shy part of myself taking over lol.)

Anyways, ramble over. What should I do? Any words of advice? I’m not special, this can’t be a unique situation. Thanks for reading.

Anyone have any advice for navigating coming out as bisexual recently. I just moved states so I haven't been able to get a good grasp on the social scene yet, is there maybe a way of thinking about dating preferences without actually dating?

I've thought about going to a gay bar but I've never been to any and I really don't know what to do.

Cross-posted from user [email protected]

The last pride parade I attended was as an enthusiastic and supportive straight ally (lol).

It was a couple years ago, pre covid, and since then I've... noticed some things about myself that obviously led me here.

I came out to myself in February of this year after a same sex experience that left me with no more questions in my mind (holy fuck girls are soft) so I'm pretty new to this.

But I'm still very much closeted to my friends and family because I'm married (to a wonderful man) and I'm not really ready to have a conversation with people about how my relationships are organized (cause that same sex experience wasn't just a one off thing. It's a long distance... thing. Like, I love them).

So on the one hand, it shouldn't really matter if someone in my life finds out I'm Bi. The real part I'm closeted about is that I'm polyamorous but I'm not really at a place of "pride" with any of it.

My husband knows, obviously, and he's coming to the parade with me so if I just don't advertise my bisexuality then I'm safe and I'll basically be attending exactly the same way I attended before.

But I wanna paint a little bisexual coloured heart on my cheek.

And I want to do this properly, just for myself. Like, it feels very antithetical to ATTENDING PRIDE to do so in a way where I pretend I'm straight.

So advice? Support? Tell me about your first pride parade as a bisexual!

Also the chances of me running into someone I know are basically zero. I live in a massive city. My fear of the little pink, purple, blue heart is completely unreasonable. My brain is just really talented at finding things for me to feel bad about.

Being a 39 male I came up at different time and less accepting area. I wish I had the courage when I was younger to embrace this side of me. The what ifs, the people I loved that don't know it. Regardless, I am happy with where I ended up and the progress.

Like it's actually fun. A few folks at work know I broke up with my girlfriend of some time recently. When I later asked them to let me know if they know anyone nice to set me up with, I always use gender-neutral language. But every single one pretty much assumes women only, and frankly I'm okay with that. Everyone doesn't need to know everything. If they ever asked, I'll tell them.

However, the married gay guy made sure to ask me, "are you into girls, guys,…?" and people I felt so touched and seen that someone didn't just assume. He says his mind is tingling with ideas, and I'm sure if he and his husband make any intros they'll be great.

Finally, I totally have a work crush on a guy, and I feel so stupid about it. My work crush at my last company was also a smaller guy who kept it tight, which is a funny theme. This time though I'm pretty sure he's gay, based on a few different things including a pretty sexy insta. I just want to hold him and carry him around, and now I feel super weird when I see him or make eye contact. Ha here I am almost 40 and this guy still has me horned up like a teenager. Maybe one day I'll build up the courage to say something to him. Non work dating and hookups are so much easier though!

Anyway yeah, basically being in the closet at work is…fun!

closest i've come to finding something like it is this manga sweet trap. i'd really like suggestions.

Waht do you wear to express yourself that seems obviously bi?

Hi. Bi here. Just got into Lemmy because another community I liked indicated so. But I was on a bisexual community over there. So I found this one. I hope it's okay to say Hi. If not I'll just delete.

This is a really stupid question I know but recently I had a bi cycle and I want to be able to me more attracted to guys again. I don't like the fact that I'm nearly straight rn. Is there any way to influence who I'm attracted to?

Here's a great article about being bisexual with a bipolar diagnosis. Relatable? Come join us at https://lemmy.world/c/bipolardisorder

I made a few bracelets and bought a flag for myself that I hide in my closet