this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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(This was apparently a cosplayer at DragonCon this year.)

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I love the echos in culture of this one dude, who we all know, and the only reason we know of him is that he kept his own hate mail.

[–] Eheran 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No idea who he is or what this is all about.

[–] Wolfmanlenin 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And we'll never know if his copper really was shitty.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Given the fact that they took the time to write a formal complaint in clay (something that's expensive to do in the ancient world), it's indeed likely that his copper was shitty:

"He sold low grade copper disguised as premium grade. He is a man of low repute, a copper dealer with questionable ethics, who cheats people out of their money."

Or you know, just imagine that review on Amazon with 1/5 stars and way more expletives.

[–] samus12345 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

And there were many such complaints that he kept! It makes absolutely no sense that not only would multiple people lie about his copper being shitty by carving expensive tablets, but that he would keep false complaints about himself. The simplest explanation is that his copper was indeed shitty and he found it amusing that so many people complained about it.

[–] niktemadur 6 points 2 months ago

"FIVE THOUSAND years from now, you will be a famous meme."
Gettouttahere! Fuggeddaboutit!

[–] samus12345 5 points 2 months ago

I always wondered what the circumstances were that the tablets remained where they were. Was the house abandoned after he died? Did subsequent people who lived there just keep the tablets around for some reason?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

I love it 🤣

[–] negativenull 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I would totally share a pot of unfiltered beer with that guy!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ninkasi be praised!

I might write an ode to her

[–] theilleists 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But could you make the ode a recipe as well? Might as well multitask.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Great idea. Ik just leave it the bus that are obvious, though. Who doesn't know how to brew, honestly.

[–] blazeknave 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Don't do it!!! That's bullshit ass copper!!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Damn straight! I cannot use that for copper tubing and it is so beat up it won't work for electrical work either!

[–] blazeknave 1 points 2 months ago

Username checks out

[–] samus12345 7 points 2 months ago

He looks like the type that would treat you and your servants with contempt.

[–] toynbee 4 points 2 months ago

The circle tattoos on the calf / shin of the guy behind him are fascinating. I wonder what they mean.

They're reminiscent of Arrival, but it's been an age since I've seen that movie so I'm not sure.

[–] Etterra 4 points 2 months ago

I'll give you thirty talents of silver and five sheep for your eldest daughter.

[–] Couldbealeotard 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can someone explain the reference to me?

[–] orangeboats 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Etterra 3 points 2 months ago

When you're a merchant so famous that people almost 4,000 years in the future and all over the world know about that one time you screwed over a lady so badly that she wrote you a strongly worded complaint.