this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

STOP PULLING MYSTERIOUSLY WELL PRESERVED WEAPONS OUT OF TOMBS

  • HAVEN'T THESE PEOPLE EVER READ A BOOK FOR FUCKS SAKES

  • STOP FUCKING AROUND. STILL WANT TO FIND OUT, FOR A LAUGH? THERE'S ALREADY A WAY TO DO THAT, IT'S CALLED WAKING UP IN THE 20s.

  • THOUSANDS OF CURSED SWORDS REMOVED FROM GRAVES TO DATE AND NOT ONE USE FOUND FOR THE HORRORS THEY UNLEASHED

"Yes, hello, there's surely a reasonable, non-magic explanation for how this sword is as spotless as the day everyone buried it under a giant boulder with its wielder in an unmarked hole. It's completely fine for swords to whisper about things forgotten and not yet known." -STATEMENTS DREAMED UP BY THE UTTERLY DERANGED

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

HAVEN'T THESE PEOPLE EVER READ A BOOK FOR FUCKS SAKES

Uhh, yeah, and that's how they know that the best magic swords are in tombs. Where else would you go looking for them?

[–] EightLeggedFreak 2 points 2 months ago

They're the baddies that folks like Indiana Jones and Laura Croft stop.

[–] Viking_Hippie 3 points 2 months ago

But maybe the next one will be the one that makes me Emperor of Carpathia!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

New copy-pasta just dropped.

[–] TropicalDingdong 3 points 2 months ago

maybe this can help us resolve the ongoing issues we've been having since we opened the ominous black granite sarcophagus.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-44893804