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To the mixed race or non-white people in this thread, just start asking white people where they’re from. Heck, if someone asks you where you’re from, it’s only polite to return the curiosity
Edit: if they say US born and raised, then ask but where are your ancestors from?
"Where are you from" should never mean ethnicity, but only where that person has lived. "What is your ancestry/ethnicity" should be specified if that's what you're asking about. No white person with an American accent would think anything of being asked where they're from and will respond with where they've lived.
I know, I agree. I am speaking to the experience of people who get asked that question with a follow up of but where are you really from or some alternative. I mean, it’s totally innocuous and innocent question, but sometimes people use it in a weird way even if they don’t mean a bad thing by it. Because of our history of racism with each other (I mean humans), people are naturally sensitive about race. Things don’t exist in a vacuum
This persons story: https://hbr.org/2020/10/whats-wrong-with-asking-where-are-you-from
Four years ago, I moved to New York to start pursuing my journalism degree at a graduate program in the city. I spent my first week researching and reporting an audio story about the local farmer’s market. When I handed it in, my professor looked down at the script I had written, looked back up at me, and said, “Your English is good. Where are you from?”
While that was supposed to be a compliment, it didn’t feel like a pat on the back. Whether it was based on how I looked, sounded, or information the professor had gathered about me beforehand, their tone implied that, because I was an international student, my ability to write English well (or not) was tied to my geographical and cultural background. I was confused and hurt.