transgender

Fair. I think it's quite reasonable women hide they're women on the internet given how they are often treated. Just wanted to point out NBies are a wide spectrum and what pronouns you use doesn't need to dictate your gender.

Guess it could it be comparable to being a 1 or 6 on the Kinsey scale and not considering yourself bi because the label doesn't convey any useful information about your attraction? Imo, which label you choose at that point is up to you and I don't think it seems biphobic or NBphobic to choose one of the binary labels.

Thank you for sticking up for us.

Sincerely, someone deep in the closet for reasons of personal safety.

Yes, and that is WHY I’m so vocal about it, because I have experience with environments where the choice really was to misgender myself or to risk looking like a biggot. It sucked and that It forces trans people who are early in their transition and eggs to pick between two really bad options. That makes it functionally (not intentionally) transphobic.

While I appreciate your experience, and of course all of us have been questioning at some point, it is important for building a thriving trans community. The rule stays.

A big point of something like Lemmy is that you don’t need separate accounts in all the communities that you are in and trans communities should put the bar low for people who are looking to explore things. It may not always be the safest thing to do, but reality is messy and people who are just kinda uncomfortable with what they have may still be far away from understanding.

Creating a new account is safer, if your argument is you want things to be safer for trans people (re: not showing pronouns in ID), you must also understand that creating a new account is safer for exploration. Your argument is weak.

If they feel nothing suits them they can say (none) or (use name)

Nobody says you can’t have your pronouns in your username if you want them too, but forcing other people to do the same is really reaching into other people’s personal zone to an extend that I do consider inappropriate.

I care about making a safe trans community, and making sure people aren't misgendered is part of that. This is how you do that. If you're not for making sure people are gendered properly, leave. 🤷‍♀️ But I suggest you consider it and keep an open mind about it, I genuinely think you have not seen the benefits of this policy.

what is the difference between putting (unsure) or (any) and just not having them? you would still basically have to ask or assume you picked the right one.

the point is to affirm trans identities, by putting those in you are showing you support and affirm trans identities.

on a side note, making “requirements” to be trans is a slippery slope, and nobody should have to prove, or our themselves, just by existing and participating in the world.

showing pronouns is not a requirement to be trans, but it is a requirement going forward for this community in order to remove reactionaries. people will be asked to change their IDs. if they cant due to their instance, thats fine.

and why should it matter if I know I’m interacting with a trans person? why can’t we all just treat each other with respect, and if we want to find out more about each other individually we can just ask?

the rule explicitly states cis people should show pronouns as well. knowing if someone is trans online (and seeing many others) does have practical benefits in attracting more trans people to a space, though. but this isnt outing yourself as trans, just showing pronouns.

and while your solution of “just make another account” could work for since it simply won’t work for all

it certainly does work for all, it takes a couple of seconds

There is a limit to how long usernames/nicknames can be on lemmy. You might have to only do like NOOBMASTER (she) or some shorter nickname for it to let you save it.

np 💖

oh ok thanks!