this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2023
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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Maybe this is everyone's experience as they get older, falling out of fashion and balking at the latest trends.

BUT. I really think there's something uniquely terrible about this moment in (clothing) history.

I can appreciate elements of fashion from pretty much every era...from jazz age glam to swinging cocktail dresses and just about everything from the set of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, to the pencil skirts and cat-eye makeup of the 60s, to 80s punk and 90s heroin chic, to the dELiA's catalogues of my coming-of-age and the midriffs of the 2000s.

But these days I dread shopping. Why are shirts cut like pillowcases and dresses cut like potato sacks? What's the point of a sweater knit so loosely the wind blows right through, or a neck cut so wide the sleeves fall down your shoulders? Speaking of, why are the shoulders/armpits in a women's "small" cardigan roomy enough for the Rock?

It all seems so frumpy, and not even functional. Aren't clothes meant to accentuate the body, rather than hide it? How are you other non-Gen Z women adapting to current fashion?

P.S. I will admit that having higher rise jeans is nice. It took me a while to get on board, but now I can see how the low rise skinny jean gave us all chicken legs ;)

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[–] Nintendo 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

this happens every generation. trends and styles change and people who came before it find it harder and harder to relate to them. in reality you just dont want to bother keeping up with modern trends that young people are into now or are too insecure to, so you're projecting it as distaste to trends of the younger generation.

personally, I think young women got it right these days. clothing for women seem less restrictive and young women seem to value comfort over the rigidness of previous generations' high glam styles.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Maybe. But I can see the appeal in many other eras and styles that I didn't grow up with and have no business relating to...

Is it "insecure" to want a garment that fits the human form and doesn't bunch / ride up / fall off my shoulders / let in the breeze? This doesn't even have to do with fashion from an aesthetic perspective, it has to do with function and comfort. (Lord knows, I gave up on "glam" fifteen years ago...)

[–] Nintendo 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's a bit insecure to look at what young people are wearing these days, not think it's a good fit for yourself, and conclude that there's an issue with what the young people are wearing.

it's perfectly fine to have preferences in the fashions and styles you grew up with even if that's not what the kids are wearing these days. no need to yuck the yum of the youth.

[–] Countess425 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

There's also plenty of fashion from each of those eras op wouldn't be caught dead in. Garters, girdles, torpedo bras, bee hives as tall as Jesus, shoulder pads...

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Hahah this is true!! Maybe it's easier to remember the trends that aged well.

I think of shoulder pads as cringe, but apparently those are making a comeback ... https://www.thelist.com/465500/the-truth-about-whether-or-not-shoulder-pads-are-back-in-style/

[–] Countess425 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Everything old is new again. Everything.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Maybe it's a bit like when people talk about the "good old days" of xyz music genre, and how music was better back in (insert year) compared to (current year).

The only songs from the 70s/80s/90s that still get play time are the top 10% songs from those eras and everyone forgets about the other 90% of crappy music that played on the radio.

[–] almar_quigley 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You have to remember every single point you made is objective opinion. It doesn’t make your taste wrong but it also doesn’t make your opinion correct. And yes, you are doing the thing all people do as they get older. You deserve a bit of an Ok Boomer for this post not being able to see the objectivity of personal taste.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"Objective opinion" seems like an oxymoron, no? Did you mean the subjectivity of personal taste?

I didn't think this needed to be said in the context of casual conversation/griping...but no, I don't consider my taste in clothing (or music, or movies, or books, or food) to be objective fact that overrules every other person's perspective.

If I post about how pineapple on pizza is amazing (which it is) and all you pineapple haters are missing out, that doesn't mean I literally believe that everyone with taste buds will enjoy the taste of pineapple on pizza.

This is just my personal reaction to having trouble finding comfortable, flattering clothes beyond athletic attire. And I thought there might be other 30-something-year-old women on the internet with similar frustrations who could offer a pointer or two.

[–] almar_quigley 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I mistyped and meant subjective opinion.

[–] grabyourmotherskeys 1 points 1 year ago

Perspective of a 50 year old man. You should wear what you like. I have long believed "fashion" is a money printing machine. I won't say it preys on insecurity because that is condescending and ignores the fact that many people love following fashion, getting new clothes, etc. But I do think the pace of change is specifically designed to turn over cheaply produced inventory and ensure people don't wear the clothes enough to wear them out.

I have been wearing basically the same clothes for years. If I tear out a knee I buy new pants. That kind of thing.

My wife needs to wear business attire and fairly dressy stuff (blazers, etc). She is always buying new things and donating clothing.

One of us is spending an order of magnitude more on clothes.

I don't begrudge this, she makes more money than me and has to dress that way because of her job.

The point I'm trying to make is to stay current and fashionable is pa kort of her purchasing but she also just wears stuff out very, very quickly. It's the way the clothes are made.

The marketing and poor quality (weak seams, thin fabric, inconsistent sizing, etc) is all designed up maximize profit.

[–] Laticauda 15 points 1 year ago

Nah I like it, I always hated tight clothes. I am all for a fashion era of comfort and room to breath.

[–] Countess425 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A lot of it is still "pandemic chic" when we all lived in PJs for two years with an occasional smart top for on camera zoom calls. People will get sick of it soon enough (I sure have. If I never see another peasant/little house on the prairie dress again it'll be too soon). I'm really happy with the boom in bras without underwire, though, I'm never going back to underwire.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

@Countess425 Free the nipple!! I haven't worn a bra in years, and I don't intend to. I do wear those little bralettes, that may as well be a crop top, instead, or nothing at all, if possible.

@ClarissaXDarjeeling

[–] Countess425 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Right? I only wear those little bralette things because attention from people who are really "supportive" of free boobs are just as bad or worse than the attention you get from the "be ashamed of your nipples" crowd. Can't fucking win.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Lol. Ain't that the truth. I do need a little "support" (more like trying to keep them contained in the top) so I go with the soft bralettes, or a pastie if the dress or top I'm wearing is fitted enough, or has enough coverage . Thankfully, no one has ever said anything to me. I occasionally get a weird look, but I just don't care.

[–] TeaHands 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I kinda like it actually. Disclaimer to go with that though is that I knit and crochet and sew my own clothes so if there's something I can't find in a shop I can make it, and I can also do basic alterations.

High-waisted is life for us big-hipped ladies. Wide-necked boxy-cut layering pieces speak to my casual goth heart. Baggy jeans take me back to my teens and are a welcome relief from the skinny jean tyranny that lasted up until a few years ago. Of all the cool things I've learned how to sew, my absolute favourite is a "potato sack" dress that I cinch in at the waist with a matching belt and go about my day in being comfy af.

Now if we could just get the pocket situation sorted out.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It took me years, but I finally started to appreciate high-waisted jeans after it dawned on me...oh, you can tuck IN the shirt. (I also have wide hips, but most importantly a nickel sensitivity. So getting this layer of fabric between my belly and the top button was a game changer! And allowed for more comfortable sitting haha.)

It's interesting that you mention sewing. I'm not very crafty, but maybe I could find a tailor/seamstress to make the simple kind of summer dress that I find flattering & comfy: a knee-length cylinder of fabric, somewhat form-fitting but not bandage/bodycon-level slinky, with basic straps rather than boho pouf sleeves or fringe or whimsical off-the-shoulder cuts.

P.S. I was also kind of a goth in HS, but less baggy goth and more Shirley Manson/Faith the Vampire Slayer inspired, with a bit of skapunk influence from my peer group. But I'm too lazy to accessorize these days ;) So at home it's 90% athleisure, and in the office it's the traditional business (casual) wardrobe I established ~10 years ago. Only, that's starting to feel too formal, and I'm trying to reclaim an actual sense of style.

[–] TeaHands 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah I was more the high effort goth type back in the day but am way too lazy for that now. I got to where you are now, looking at my uninspiring wardrobe full of things you could wear to work, the occasional unobjectionable dress for a night out, and plain jeans and vest tops and I just thought enough is enough.

Literally, as someone who knows nothing about fashion, sat down with my laptop and spent a night searching for the words for different styles so I could articulate my thoughts. Picked things I liked and didn't. Let myself judge based on what felt "me" rather than what felt my age (am nearly 40). Apparently I gravitate to something called "dark bohemian", which does check out but I'd never heard the actual term before!

I've since defined my style goal as "casual witch on a cruise ship" and am rolling with that as my guide for everything that gets made or bought.

[–] girltwink 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I really like some aspects of it. The loose billowy pants are nice for summer heat, and you can make an interesting silhouette with them. But i absolutely can't stand the boxy cut tops. I see more and more zoomers rebelling against these trends and wearing flattering cuts. The thing with fashion in $current_year is that you can wear whatever you want. Shopping is annoying but still possible.

My suspicion is that these trends were driven by manufacturers reducing inventory during covid.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Shopping is annoying but still possible

True true! It used to be easy to find styles that resonated, and now I just have to dig a bit deeper.

On the topic of manufacturers, I also read that boxy styles can be a cost-cutting technique. Because it's easier than tailoring/tucking or making other adjustments when the human form isn't a simple rectangle.

Size 0 models, too...it's not just about cultural norms or fat shaming, it's also laziness. It's more work to tailor a garment to a curvy figure than a waifish one. (Plus, there's the simplicity of only having to supply one size.) Which isn't hating on anyone who happens to be a size 0 or a boxy shape to begin with! :)

[–] elephantium 6 points 1 year ago

I read your post to my wife.

How are you other non-Gen Z women adapting to current fashion?

Dress like it's 1950

She's into vintage fashion :)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Man, taste really is subjective because I have no idea how you can trash today's fashion while being totally ok with the cultural blunder that is early 2000s fashion.

I was looking at red carpet photos from some awards show in 2002, and everyone looked like they dressed themselves by stumbling blindly through the discount rack at Gap Kids. Probably the worst era in fashion history imo.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Your problem is looking at awards shows for fashion lol.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Sure, but even if my opinion wasn't informed by those award shows, I still have an abundance of bedazzled tees and whale tails burned into my memory to stand by it

[–] Countess425 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Lol with the frosted eyeshadow, orange sunless tanning, whale tail thongs, pencil thin overplucked eyebrows, and frosted tips??? Nooooooooo.

Early 2000s really were just so awful.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

everyone looked like they dressed themselves by stumbling blindly through the discount rack at Gap Kids

I just want to say how much I loved this description and actually chortled. TBF, a google search of "early 2000s fashion" does indeed reveal no end of horrors... But it feels like this was somehow just a celebrity thing? Because we didn't dress like crazy people at the time. I still think there was something iconic about Keira Knightley's abs, but we weren't stepping out of the house like that ;)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Hahaha it was totally the era of the tummy back then and Keira Knightley was its patron saint.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Can't speak on the rest, but I am so glad skinny jeans are finally going out of fashion. That couldn't happen soon enough.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I'm 40 and I love it, I've been doing pandemic-chic for a decade now and I'm glad I'm now finally considered trendy instead of sloppy.

I'll never give up my skinny jeans tho.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I like some of it. What I really like is that there isn't a specific trend that's most popular. There seems to be a broad variety of styles that are popular and everyone can just do their own thing.

I just can't get on board with wide leg pants but I'm happy to ditch the skinnies for a boot cut or flare.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm a man, so I'm only talking about aesthetics here, but I like the over the shoulder neck and loose shirts. They're casual.

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The mechanics are so frustrating ...

  1. Off-the-shoulder means cold shoulders
  2. Off-the-shoulder means limited bra options
  3. Off-the shoulder usually limits your arm movement
  4. ...or you have to be very careful that things don't slip too far and reveal a nip
  5. Mesh and gauze is just right out - pointless fabrics!
  6. These super loose and flowy shirts are hard to keep tucked in, so then my side flank gets cold
  7. ...or if it's long enough enough to tuck, it results in a balloon of fabric that makes me look pregnant
  8. Just to confirm, cause this is still hard for me to wrap my head around ... you ACTUALLY find this kind of thing cute?

https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-drapey-square-shirt-kalmata https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/bl-nk-miranda-peasant-blouse2 https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/by-anthropologie-mini-tulle-layer https://www.nordstrom.com/s/off-the-shoulder-top/7476942 https://www.nordstrom.com/s/ceres-off-the-shoulder-satin-blouse/7460847

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The 4th one is very cute. No to the first three. The 5th is fine.

Edited, missed a couple of the links

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

@ClarissaXDarjeeling 40 something woman here.

IMO, as we get older, we either seem to pay more attention to silhouettes, shapes and flattering clothes, or we just stop caring all together, and go with the leggings and moomoos (nothing wrong with either, I occasionally wear both). Trends are always going to change, and "fast fashion" will do so constantly. As far as I can tell we are heading back to the 90s (ugh) with a weird mix of 70s thrown in. I'm excited for the death of high rise jeans again, and those god awful mesh tops/dresses, but I digress.

Personally, I've been building my closet on higher quality staple pieces, with some fast fashion thrown in. If you get a cute, high quality skirt, and a
trendy, fitted crop top, you can mix both those items with other items in your closet. Same with a nice pair of jeans, dress, or a jacket.

All of that said, either learn to tailor your own clothes (this is the route I chose) or make friends with a local tailor. Clothes rarely fit well off the rack. Buying a piece of clothing and wearing it will look ok, but having it tailored for YOU will make it look GREAT. I also make my own clothes, when I can't find what I want.

Oh, and as someone who is rather ....."chesty" yeah, boxy tops/dressed make me look TERRIBLE. I absolutely love the way those little boho shift dresses look on smaller chested women, but they look like a circus tent on me. I feel your pain

[–] ClarissaXDarjeeling 3 points 1 year ago

Ah yes, how could I forget the mesh / gauze / see-through tops and dresses! There's nothing like buying an article of clothing that requires buying more articles of clothing to go underneath, or fails to provide any warmth or a barrier of any kind.

Thanks for the tip re: tailoring :)

[–] Mantis_Toboggan 1 points 1 year ago

I feel like it varies within groups of people. But other times, I swear people dress like in a Limp Bizkit video.

It’s weird because I remember the older kids dressing like that younger people today and by the time I got to high school it was peak mid-2000s, with bell bottoms, crop-tops, graphic tees with long sleeves underneath.

It’s mostly cyclical.

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