this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2024
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According to research ending every call with "Have I resolved all your issues?" Reduces how often people call back.

But yeah if you want to upgrade your product, it takes 5 inbound calls because of the steps. All but the last one could be automated.

I got yeeted.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 5 months ago (2 children)

What is this about even? What kind of install requires calls?

[–] ericbomb 42 points 5 months ago (3 children)

sigh

So I work for a large enterprise type software with a database. And because our installer is trash, we don't trust clients to do it. It's very common for the installer to error out with SQL error messages and we have to go fix things in the database. Think stupid things like if a value is null in one field, installer crashes.

So they call in, get paperwork for a test upgrade (we require they upgrade a test database first), then after they email that paperwork and it's approved by management, the call to schedule the test appointment happens. Then 3 days before the actual appointment, we can call them and transfer via Bomgar the files they need. Because we don't wanna give them the needed files early for... reasons never explained properly to me.

Then the actual install/upgrade call happens.

Then we do it all over again for the live.

Welcome to corporate policy that's been building over 20 years, and never cut back. Things get added to the install process, never removed.

[–] Leg 8 points 5 months ago

I'm so sorry.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You probably don't want to mention what this product is called, understandable.

Why would anyone use that? Isn't it obvious that this can't be good?

[–] ericbomb 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Well for the same reason lots of not great software is used.

It was once the best (or only) in the market, and now it'd cost literally millions of dollars to change in training/conversion/hardware changes. As long as we keep above the "We cause less damage than a change costs" folks stay.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

So it's SAP.

Just get a new job, man.

[–] AnUnusualRelic 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that's how most corporate software stays afloat.

[–] ericbomb 3 points 5 months ago

Well I did say "for same reason lots" XD so yeah, basically.

Then sales reps can rope in new people with "It's industry standard! It's easy to hire people who know this!"

[–] Diplomjodler3 4 points 5 months ago

I hope you found a new job quickly but congratulations on getting out of that hellhole.

[–] Rhynoplaz 12 points 5 months ago

When I installed my free Robucks app, I had to call in and read off some gift card numbers.

[–] shalafi 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Worked tech support for an ISP. The tech side was well managed and smart. (Left when that changed.)

The customer service side fielded TV and account related calls. They were driven by average calls times. What a cluster. Guess who straight hung up on customers when the call went too long? Some people would call be 4-5 times.

Meanwhile, we could take all the time it took to resolve. A 1-hour call is way cheaper than rolling a truck. Yet some assholes would roll trucks for nothing, then bitch there were no trucks left.

[–] ericbomb 12 points 5 months ago

Heh, yeah but my metrics don't care about how many trucks I roll! Just how long my calls are! "Modem restart didn't work? Truck will be on its way." "Modem restart didn't work? Truck will be on its way." X100

100 calls an hour BABY.

[–] Robin 13 points 5 months ago

Call people? For database software??? I'll install postgres from my private dark corner tyvm

[–] jimmydoreisalefty 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Keep fighting the good fight, OP!

[–] ericbomb 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

There's always next weeks call deflection meeting for me to try again!

I haven't been uninvited from it yet! But yeah gotta love these "problem solving" meetings from management, where they don't actually want to give any resources or allow any policy changes to come from them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

They want you to feel heard, and then feel personally responsible for the incessant call volume.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

M as in Mancy?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Five calls Jeremy? Five? That's insane

[–] BilboBargains 1 points 5 months ago

Please accept my sincere condolences, I'm sorry for your loss.