this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024
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Things are getting tetchy in the burger fandom (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago by GabrielBell12fi to c/tumblr
21 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
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[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (2 children)

for anyone else who is curious, it's the first one

TOLEDO, OH (WTOL) - A Toledo woman is out of the hospital after her son stabbed her over a cheeseburger at an apartment building in the 400 block of West Bancroft in central Toledo around 1 a.m. Friday.

Police arrested 18-year-old Aaron Dean. He has been charged with one count of felonious assault after an initial court appearance Friday morning.

Police say Dean choked and stabbed his mom because she didn't bring him a cheeseburger.

Dean's mother says when she walked in her front door her son asked her where was his food. "And I'm like 'boy you just sat there and ate.' He's like 'you can't bring none in here without bringing me something to eat.' So, he just smacked my burger out of my hand and then we got to fighting."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Thats what they want you to believe. The truth, however, is that it’s a sport and the record is held by a fisherman from gosport uk.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

(since she’s OK…)

stabbed her over a cheeseburger at an apartment building

What an odd thing to stab someone over. Over a bridge or some railroad tracks, sure, but over a cheeseburger?

[–] ma11en 23 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

There could have been a stabbing in place called Cheeseburger.

[–] Rolando 10 points 5 months ago

Or a stabbing by a resident of Cheeseburg, perhaps on vacation.

[–] jettrscga 4 points 5 months ago

A cheeseburger stabbed another cheeseburger with a cheeseburger in a Cheeseburger's.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)

[–] GabrielBell12fi 14 points 5 months ago

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Woah woah, mark this NSFW!

[–] Macaroni_ninja 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

NSFCHB!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Carbo... Hydrate...Binging...?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Cheese burgers

[–] GabrielBell12fi 1 points 5 months ago

Caliban's House Boy.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You can very easily decide. 2, 4, and 5 are outlandish and incredibly unlikely, and 3 isn't newsworthy.

The most likely choice is 1, by an enormous margin, and guess what, that's exactly which one it was!

[–] Macaroni_ninja 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I remember in the UK once they made illegal to sell a certain type of sweet at schools (I believe some kind of shortbread) because it had a pointy end and they were afraid the kids will stab each other with it. It was hilarious and yes, it was in the news 😅

Edit: it was flapjack. https://youtu.be/hA5C4sD4l7Y?si=0cQFCBIrydwog17M

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This website is the only one with memes that make me actually laugh out loud. Well done sir and/or ma'am 😜

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I totally agree, I've never laughed out loud at so many memes as on Lemmy!

[–] Troublegiant 5 points 5 months ago

Can confirm - Toledo folks/cheeseburgers will do all of the above without thinking twice. 🔪🍔

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Cheeseburger on Cheeseburger crime sure is a shame

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

It's a "~~click here~~ continue to watch" kind of title, meant less to inform and more to increase their profits by exposing you to more advertising revenue while you puzzle it out.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Someone with the last name Cheese, stabbed someone with the last name Burger.