Shitty Superpowers

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Post your favorite shitty superpower ideas that will help you save or shit on the world that needs us!

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Your cum can heal any injuries (hilariouschaos.com)

submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] ChihuahuaOfDoom 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That's a pretty fucked up day at the children's hospital.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Oh my dear God lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Where are you hurt?🤞please say Colon, please say Colon🤞

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

🤣

[–] franklin 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Is there a minimum amount or is it like even a molecule's worth?

[–] paddirn 2 points 7 months ago (2 children)

A whole load, fresh, all over the affected area. Sometimes it even requires multiple treatments.

[–] franklin 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well at least my wife will be healthy I guess.

[–] cactusupyourbutt 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

yeah she looks really healthy

[–] franklin 2 points 7 months ago

Well we have been going to the gym and hiking, gotta stay active. Thanks for the encouragement cactusupyourbutt!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

🤣

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Someone's looking forward to healing

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Needs to be at least the amount of one squirt of lotion

[–] Etterra 2 points 7 months ago

I'll be charging you based on your net worth. If you're below the poverty line that'll by $5, but Bezos is gonna need to add like 9 zeroes to that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

TWIST: cum is the only thing that treats or heals injuries, illness, or disease of any kind! Broken leg? Cum! Headache? Cum! Complex-partial frontal temporal lobe seizure disorder? Cum! Pregnant and need an abortion? Ironically, also cum!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

That was a movie.

This teenage boy convinced people that his cum was healing magic and got lots of blowjobs etc thereby. Except it turned out to be a lie. People were upset

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

How fresh does it have to be to be effective? Does the, uh, delivery mechanism make a difference?