Melbourne

I'll be 41 years old this month.

I'd like to say I've lived a bit of a life. I've had and lost friends. I've found and lost love. I was even married for a little while. I was directionless career-wise coming out of high school but now I'm quite successful and am paid well for it. I'm moderately well-travelled. I've been to and seen a lot of places both domestic and abroad and not all of them were so nice.. some were even outright sketchy.

But today, on April 1st 2024 - I saw my very first bona fide, honest-to-god, ready for use, manky Glory Hole. A clearly frequented hole in the side of a toilet stall complete with some eager gent waiting on the other side.

From now on my life has been split in two; before I saw a Glory Hole and after. I was so young in the before-times. So naive. So full of hope.

Ted Cat just ran up to me and bit me. Not hard but still. 😡He's angry at me for not giving him unlimited food like my husband did when I was sick with sciatica.

Woo hoo. The kid's gone for a few days. Time to partay with a latte. 🎉

Pinch and a punch for the first of the month. No returns.

The body of Jesus has been found. He remains dead. Easter is cancelled. Today is no longer a public holiday. Off to work and school.

If there was anybody still trying to be optimistic and hold out hope that any of this paper crap that [major] companies do "for a sustainable future" is anything but a marketing ploy, on the page for the paper food wrapping stuff, you have to enter your age, and if you're under a certain age, you're literally refused access to the website.

Why? Because the entire thing is just a marketing stunt, and there's rules about marketing things to young children.

As much as they make it sound like it's their decision and their marketing code, it is genuinely a thing

I'm so understimulated but too exhausted to actually do anything... and my focus is shot

Listening to music and slowly putting away the craft stuff into bags. I figure I'm still pretty burned out on it and I can't wash balls of wool or half made things - so getting them off the floor, out of the way, and sealing them up so any fleas die.

Well that got a bit intense. The rain got so heavy traffic slowed down to about walking speed and multiple people decided to just pull over and wait instead. I got totally drenched running the 5m from my car to my front door. I've changed into dry clothes and Miss Meow is now ensconsed on my lap purring. Mr Woof has forgiven me for the lack of a walk and is also on the couch for moral support.

Man, even the BOM getting in on April Fools with the storm forecast. Barely anything >:(

Edit: I retract this comment and politely request my lights stop flickering

So in general I don't find studying plagues to be too depressing but today I am writing a thesis chapter that deals with some really heavy stuff that's getting to me and I'm finding it hard to write. So if anyone knows any silly jokes please nows the time to post them!

APRIL FOOLS

I'm at a party. It's been almost a decade maybe since I've been to one and it feels nice but it takes some getting used to.

recaptcha freaks me out with all the people riding motorcycles wearing light sandals and shorts, no gloves

I really wanted sushi earlier, even though they do a 20% holiday surcharge. Whatever, I wanted sushi, I just sucked it up and paid for it. But then when I got home I saw they actually charged me 6 cents more than what they said my total was, and what the receipt says my total was (after surcharge). On the one hand, it's only 6 cents, hardly worth fighting for, but on the other they essentially stole it from me. If you tell me one price, and your screen says that same price, and the receipt says the same price, I'm pretty sure that's illegal

I actually do normally fight these sorts of things, as pathetic as it sounds, on the principal alone. But it takes a lot more motivation to when it involves physically going down there and complaining. A lot easier to do when I can write half an angrily worded email and get ChatGPT to do the rest. I also went to one of those franchise places, and I never have a very high success rate with those. And the ACCCs about as useless as tits on a bull

Sometimes I really just wanna flee to one of those fancy countries where they do weird foreign things like caring about their citizens and not letting shady businesses do dodgy things. The only problem is they are always really really cold

Help my Lemmy just became Reddit!

Marge!

I have no idea what it is but I can hear a constant low rumbling coming from somewhere. It's weirdly comforting because I used to live somewhere that had a similar sound and it reminds me of that.

Also I'm not looking forward to the internet being very annoying for a day. Grumble grumble

Well that hasn't happened to me for a while. Just got home from a lunch engagement, and checked the washing on the line. ALL of it has brown streaks from the rain. The little rain we did get has clearly knocked some nasty stuff out of the air. Even the laundry basket had a puddle of brown water on the base. Currently re-washing everything that was on the line. Grrr. EDIT: just checked windy.com - Melbourne is currently in the gap between 2 big areas of rain. When the wind change comes, we is going to be drenched. Some nice little funderstorms building to the west.

i was about to express disappointment but radar shows more incoming

We've had our ten drops of rain. Rain now finished.

You're all in for a treat ⚡ ☔

Sky so loud

Ah the joys of languages.

Went for a walk with my wife. Coming in the other direction was a family of mum and kid and a few others.

In Cantonese, "muscle" is pronounced like "gay yok". "Chicken" as in the meat is like "gaiy yok". Very similar pronounciation.

Mum was telling the kid he's out for a walk to build muscle. Kid keeps on telling their mum they wanted chicken meat. Mum keeps on telling them, "muscle, not chicken meat".

Couldn't help but laugh which got my wife's attention, so I translated the conversation.

Now my wife has once again asked me to reinstate support for Cantonese language. I did say no once again though as it's pointless.

ha ha

I just got reported on another site for telling someone they should never go full retard ...lol

I've been spending all afternoon watching Michael McIntyre clips on Youtube. I dunno how I didn't know about him before. Some of the jokes around domestic life and kids are a bit flat but he's absolutely brilliant with the observational humour otherwise.

Breakfast 💿📷📼☎️📺🎥📻🕰️⏳💡🕯️💵💎⚖️🪜🧰🪛🔧🔨⛏️🪚🔩⚙️🪤🧱⛓️🧲🔫💣🔪🛡️⚰️🪦🔮🧿💈🔭🔬🕳️🩻🩺💊🩸💉🧬🧫🧪🧹🧻🚽🚿🧼🪥🪒🧽🪣🧴🛎️🗝️🚪🪑🛋️🛏️🧸🖼️🪞🪟🛒🎈✉️