this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2024

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ShittyDarkSouls

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submitted 3 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver to c/shittydarksouls

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

There's a broken ring and that means you need to fight a sex toy after trudging through hours of copy and paste.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

VaatiVidya has a ~30m video on the general lore. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYDs_Inzkz4

And then TONS more videos on the details if interested.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

A goddess has sex with her split personality which makes incest twins, and both commit adultery making more children who then fight for shards of the Elden Ring that the female personality broke

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Ring mostly smooshed. Ring family mostly awful.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Game: Find and kill bosses to go find and kill more bosses.

Storytelling: Marika's Tits.

[–] Smokeydope 6 points 3 months ago

Elden ring world has pantheon of gods. Current god queen leader of pantheon does a huge no no and shatters plot mcguffin ring, gets imprisoned in big ass tree. All her demigod kids end up as insane little shits corrupted by the plot mcguffin shards. Its your job to murk them, take their plot mcguffin shards, become the new head honcho god and fuck the god queen. Or you say nah fuck that, decide to side with angry fire god, and kill all life full stop. Or you say nah fuck that, gods are stupid, and cleanse the world of all divine influence with the help of blue sex dolls. There's also space insects too that really like to propagate via panspermia hope you like lovecraft abominations xoxo

[–] Jackcooper 2 points 3 months ago

Cool can we get an edit where it's a parent saying Minecraft and an 8 year old kid replaces the guy

[–] [email protected] -2 points 3 months ago

There's a broken ring and that means you need to fight a sex toy after trudging through hours of copy and paste.

[+] Son_of_dad -22 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I have never played a souls game. Picked up Elden ring, not knowing it was that. I grabbed it cause it was the goty...

Elden ring is trash. It's ugly, empty, hollow, repetitive, punishing and not fun. Story? I played over 20 hours and never once encountered anything resembling a plot or lore, just a bunch of nothingness

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I'm not sure that you buying the game without even reading what it is and then complaining after you found out it's not a genre you enjoy is a game problem. In fact, it sounds like a distinct you problem

[–] TexasDrunk 5 points 3 months ago

I was with him in the first half. I picked it up on a whim because I had heard it was great. I had only played one game seriously in the last decade so I missed out on the whole Souls genre.

Except I had a great time. If it hadn't been I'd have returned it. I sure as hell wouldn't have spent 20 hours on something I detested so much. I found a plot and had a good time.

I think it's weird to spend a fifth of a playthrough and going out to shit on something just because he didn't get it. It's fine I guess, if that's what he enjoys doing.

[+] Son_of_dad -24 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

I never once said I bought it. And it's not a genre problem. I like fantasy genres just fine. "An empty, hollow game with repetitive, punishing gameplay to hide it's lack of substance" is not a genre

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If you can't find the substance, it doesn't mean it's not there. It just means the game isn't for you

[–] Son_of_dad -4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's a very niche and inaccessible game to anyone but souls fans, that alone in my opinion makes it a terrible game of the year.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

This might be news to you, but any game is niche and inaccessible to people that don't like it. You are, of course, entitled to your opinion, but the sheer amount of copies sold and total users played makes Elden Ring an excellent GOTY candidate

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Souls games are just punishing and masochistic, nothing wrong with it for people who like that. For me I don't like it because the movement is clunky and you need to learn how long each attack takes and distance so you can time the hits right, and every enemy is absurdly powerful until you learn how to cheese their weakness and dodge at the right time and place.

People like it because once you put the time in you feel like a god dodging and stabbing, but I agree the game feels desgned to just grief its playerbase (elevators dont reset so you fall and die, enemies that just pop out at corners) and I do resent that on some level. I won't say its a bad game, its just overly punishing.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm guessing you missed the tutorial area and kept dying at the tree sentinel in limegrave?

I mean I think I spent like 20 hours in the character creation screen alone.

[–] Son_of_dad -1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No I did the tutorial and opened up quite a bit of the map, that empty, empty map. In comparison, I'm now playing Tears of the kingdom, and I'm amazed at how alive the world is, and how there's a new secret around every bend. It's also a game anyone can pick up and learn, from non gamers to veterans. That's what makes a great game, accessibility and fun. I found nothing fun about Elden ring, from it's ugly look to it's bland crafting and smithing, to the lack of anything to do beyond just killing the same things over and over and over and over, while occasionally finding a random NPC that has absolutely nothing of substance to say to you.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

I'm very happy for you that you found a game you like.

I haven't yet played tears of the kingdom but many people love it.

It might be true for TotK too, but my favorite part of Elden Ring (and all from software games) is the environmental storytelling which can be very easy to miss since most games nowadays don't seem to have that attention to detail.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Git gud

[–] Son_of_dad 0 points 3 months ago

I got good, the game never did. It just got easier, never better