this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
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there are worse hills to die on (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 143 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Wikipedia's hall of fame of stupid edit wars has some pretty entertaining sections.

[–] affiliate 16 points 3 months ago

most wikipedia thing ever to start the joke page with a link to the article defining “humor”.

[–] spookex 15 points 3 months ago

That really was entertaining

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

This was hilarious. Thank you for the read.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

This link was a morning ruining rabbit hole.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

that's beautiful. thank you

[–] amanaftermidnight 131 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Scientist: Finds the most useless element.
Also scientist: Names it after France 💀💀

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Well, they already got Gallium. (Gaul)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Gallium explodes people who call it a stupid element. (it used in the plutonium pits of atomic bombs)

[–] Mog_fanatic 81 points 3 months ago

The end reads like a bad Amazon review or something and it cracks me up.

Absolute dogshit isotope and its synthetic siblings are just the same but worse

1/5 stars

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 months ago

I'll probably remember francium forever now, so there's that.

[–] suodrazah 36 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Francium has been one of my favourite elements since before I was a teenager, I'm 35 and this hasn't changed...this person needs to learn to have fun.

[–] NocturnalMorning 39 points 3 months ago

I think they did have fun writing this edit. 😄

[–] voracitude 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Well I'm convinced of the position, should I go get the pitchforks?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Unfortunately the pitchforks were made out of Francium and they vaporized and cooked everyone.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Could someone please explain the “he (the genie) would just give it to you” part?

This aside has me curious about motivations etc.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I think the joke is that he doesn't have to monkey's paw the wish at all to screw you over for wishing for it

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Thanks.

[–] affiliate 26 points 3 months ago (3 children)

my interpretation of it is: when you ask a genie for something they’ll give it to you, but with a nasty twist. e.g., if you ask for a lot of money they’ll say okay, then give you the money, and then tell you it’s all marked notes from a recent bank robbery or something.

but since this element is so stupid, there’s no twist necessary. the element itself is the nasty surprise.

[–] niktemadur 14 points 3 months ago

when you ask a genie for something they’ll give it to you, but with a nasty twist

And if I remember correctly, it's about asking a wish with precise, thoughtful phrasing, or it's going to backfire.

"Your wish is my command."
"I don't want to see my mother-in-law ever again."
Boom! Makes him blind.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That part didn't make sense to me, either, but my brain kind of elided it until I saw these comments. You're right, it's gotta be a genie that was created by a wish with a monkey's paw. That brings up another question: do monkeys even have paws? A quick search indicates that they have, as I suspected, hands and feet! I blame W.W. Jacobs for this. Did the guy ever even see a monkey? I'm finding this hard to establish.

Further bulletins as events warrant.

[–] affiliate 8 points 3 months ago

maybe the whole thing started because a monkey asked for paws and they got a monkeys paw instead

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Oh I see. I never associated monkey’s paw type twists with the genie tale. Perhaps I need to re-read the source myths.

[–] overcast5348 5 points 3 months ago

Monkeys paw = you get what you asked for but it takes a nasty path to get there. Example from the OG story, the parents ask for money, then their son dies, and they get the insurance money.

Genie = chooses to ignore the spirit of the wish and gives you something that technically meets the criteria. Ex: you ask for a "hot chick", and get a boiling hot baby chicken.

You can try to work around the genie's trickery with more and more precise wording till there isn't any ambiguity. The monkey will fuck you over anyway, because fuck you, that's why.

99.99% of the comments on r/monkeyspaw are just granting wishes like they're genies and not like they're a monkey's paw, and it rubs me the wrong way.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Isn't it also one of those salt elements that just explodes instantly if it contacts water?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

It is indeed in the alkali metal group

[–] yamanii 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

How did we even study it if it decays in less than an hour?

[–] acetanilide 18 points 3 months ago

Study it in 45 minutes

[–] shneancy 11 points 3 months ago

a half life of 30min, doesn't mean there won't be anything left after 60min. After 60min there will be a half of the half left over, and after 90min - half of the half of the half, and so on

[–] nifty 4 points 3 months ago

Maybe they knew someone named Francis?

[–] xkforce 3 points 3 months ago

They're not wrong.