this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2024
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[–] Zehzin 47 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I like the idea of summoning patrons like Pokemon

[–] Archpawn 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] other_cat 3 points 10 months ago

Thank you so much for sharing lol

[–] drislands 44 points 10 months ago

Extra hilarious because, IIRC, the previous comic was about having a patron that just wanted to bone you, except you're gay so it's a chore.

[–] Aielman15 37 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Poor C'tun Aket, it's not their fault they were born ugly. Warlocks always ask them "Where's my spell slot?", but nobody asks them "we'll bang, okay?"

[–] nifty 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Hey, C’tun Aket is not ugly! There’s someone out there who would. So hard

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago

That's rude to turn down your patron like that.

[–] CryptidBestiary 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I mean I'm assuming a powerful enough Patron would easily be able to shapechange into whatever form they want. So if they're offering...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

So much of our real-world sexual behavior presupposes the fact that one's physical form is difficult or impossible to change that it's easy to forget that in a fantasy setting with transformation (or even just illusion) magic only personality would matter. Everything else can be fixed by Alter Self.

(I expect that if wizards are fantasy nerds, they don't have the same problem of an unbalanced male:female ratio that real-world nerds do. Or maybe they would have the ratio just as unbalanced but in the other direction, with almost everyone being a Drow femme fatale.)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Even if the male:female ratio is off you'll just have to get together with one of your bros and flip a coin to decide who's changing this time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

That's what I meant, except that I think they'd both shape-shift.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's a refreshing optimistic take. My inner cynic says that wizards would just compete to see who could spellcraft up themselves the biggest schlong

[–] c0mbatbag3l 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Choose your patrons wisely.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Yeah, I'd be so pissed if I had the eldritch patron after seeing that

[–] Philharmonic3 13 points 10 months ago

I mean, it's probably NOT fun. In fact I would hazard a guess that it is decidedly Slaaneshian

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

That last exchange has been burned into my memory since I first saw this.