I'm not religious in any sense of the word, but if Jesus Christ is telling me to go to the casino, we're going to the fucking casino!
Loaves and fishes bitches!
this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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Jesus in the passenger seat "Recalculating"
Jesus it's been 5 miles we're gonna miss our turn it's here somewhere. "LOL recalculating"
Having Jesus riding shotgun would be a windy ride. He never closes the door.....born in a barn.
I wonder if Jesus can drive on water
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A manger and a barn are not the same thing lol
Wasn’t he born in a manger?
A manger is a food trough. It was in a barn.
But the bible says he was born in a manger.
And the manger was in a barn.
So he was born in a manger.
Jesus we can't follow that route, it goes over water! Might as well use Apple Maps...
Jesus: Well that's your fault for asking for walking directions!
I’m not driving anywhere with a 2000 year old schizophrenic carpenter.
Well let’s see how hot his hand is at the craps table before we judge anyone too harshly.
I'm actually more surprised that John 14:6 talks about GPS.
It doesn't:
^5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
^6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
I like the persistency of the lol without a comma beforehand. Very pushy Jesus.
Yeah and my toaster is Zeus.
I like how they always have a bible verse but just the numbers. Like I'm supposed to know what the fuck it says. Cunts....
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Didn't ask. Don't care.
I like how they always have a bible verse but just the numbers. Like I'm supposed to know what the fuck it says. Cunts....
This you? Seems like you do want to know that verse
Satan take the wheel
Well that worked well for the Reverend Jamison in The Leftovers.... That was one hell of a run on the casino, well until he got hit in the head that's it, but he kept the money.
Is Jesus is the og self driving car?