this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2024
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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[–] dohpaz42 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I guess I'll start: I put an offer in on a house this weekend. I did not get the house. But, I'm okay with that. I aalso meal prepped for the first time last night. I felt very productive. And, the week just started; so that's very hopeful for me. :)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Meal Prep is something I have got to get Into. I'm diabetic, and I've got two small kids so more often than not I just eat whatever I can find. Little work on a Sunday might go a long way.

[–] dohpaz42 2 points 10 months ago

Agreed. I’m trying to get into it regularly. It’s not like I’m doing anything else on Sundays anyway. Good luck to you!

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 3 points 10 months ago

That's such good adulting OP.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Thank you for asking! My partner and I had our first weekend sober!

  • Friday, we took a buddy out to dinner for their birthday and got to leave early because nobody questioned why the people who don't drink wouldn't want to go bar hopping.
  • Saturday, we went shopping since I've changed sizes recently, and I desperately needed clothes besides stretchy athletic wear; we wrapped the night up with an appearance at a birthday, went to dinner, and were asleep before midnight.
  • Sunday, we took it easy, played Baldur's Gate 3 during the day, had our weekly D&D session during the night, and got to sleep by midnight.

It felt so comfortable. Good weekend. 👍

[–] xkforce 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Thank you. First steps.

[–] Fisherman75 9 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Grandma died. I also kind of realized that my dad probably has dementia. So now the core of my "support system" has fallen apart. I have a theory about where my grandma got reincarnated to - somewhere good; but my dad I think is slowly taking on the life of a cockroach in an old trailer I used to live in. I have theories about dementia and reincarnation. That's what my grandma had. Vascular dementia. Anyway, with my dad no longer able to competently screw with my head I feel kind of liberated. My music finally feels like really good music. I'm like a really good musician I feel like now. Like I'm really confident all of sudden listening to my own music. I guess my dad, once upon a time mentally competent, always actively made me feel inadequate musically.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Now you get to go on an odyssey to discover all the music you’ve been missing out on!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Sorry for your loss

[–] Threadsdeadbaby 2 points 10 months ago

I'm proud of you!! I miss my grandma, too. She was the only one nice to me, haha. Keep it up!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

My backpack has been packed:

  • Two laptops (one for work, one for not) + accessories
  • A change of clothes
  • A DE9-RJ45 console cable
  • Power bank
  • A bunch of access keycards

The composite-toe airport-friendly safety shoes are by the door waitingforme. I'm abnormally early in getting ready this time, because my backpack was mostly packed from my previous work trip. So now I'm sitting in my bed for the next hour, before it's time to hop in ky car and drive to the airport.

For the next couple of days I'll be on a short work trip, the kind I usually do once or twice a month, and thebkids and my GF know that I'll be back on Wednesday.

I'll be in transit most of the day, but there's a rental car and a hotel waiting for me on the other side. Tomorrow will mostly be spent working inside shipping containers, with my laptop plugged into various network hardware and servers that will soon be lifted onboard a ship.

[–] jordanlund 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Back to work this week after taking a week off. I had been feeling poorly on 1/18, we thought it was a bad reaction to a new prescription and my doctors directed me to the ER, where I had a heart attack. :(

4 days and 2 hospitals later I was stented and released.

[–] dohpaz42 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Good to hear you made it past the heart attack in what sounds like one piece. Definitely take it as easy as you can. What’s the road to recovery look like for you?

[–] jordanlund 4 points 10 months ago

Right now, sitting in a lab waiting on blood work. Follow ups with cardiology, a ton of new meds.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 6 points 10 months ago

Omigod I'm sorry.

[–] berryjam 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I got a car wash for the first time in a year and my car looks brand new. Worth it! OTOH, I have to take it in for repairs next. Dreading the bill. Wish me luck...

Also, if anyone remembers my comment in the last thread, I decided to use my orchestra ticket for the next concert of the season :) It'll be a gift to myself.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Yay! I thought about your comment over the weekend and hoped you went to the concert.

[–] xkforce 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I was going to say its been both good and bad then realized I didnt really have anything good to say about it beyond trivial things. The reality is that its been mostly bad news:

The more dysfunctional part of my family has more abuse drama going on. To give you an idea of what "normal" is for them:

1970s: Aunt runs away with future husband to elope because his family was coercing him to enlist. They tell no one and are missing for days.

A couple years later he holds that aunt at gunpoint while drunk, eventually lets her go, no charges, they remain married.

Aunt becomes super religious, berates my grandparents for going to the "wrong" church until theyre sobbing due to the verbal abuse shes inflicting on them.

1980s-1990s:

My mom visted them not long after the boy was born and aunt would just leave him to cry "to avoid teaching him to cry for attention." He was maybe a couple months old... mother of the year already /s

They have a favorite child (eventually... the boy) that they seemingly treat well, fund his college (partially by "asking" my grandparents for a "gift") The girl OTOH they treat like a criminal from the beginning. She is never given the idea that college is in her future let alone helped.

Early 2000's: The grandchildren are born. My girl cousin marries an abusive asshole like her father. He beats her until she cant get out of the bath unassisted. Their children have developmental delays, one of them is removed from their custody by the state. Their eldest stabs his brother with a fork.

2010s: my grandmother's health deteriorates, she is diagnosed with alzheimers. My mom and her siblings take turns housing her. (I dont know why that aunt was even allowed) When it is the aunt's turn, she ignores my grandmother and makes her feel suicidal. She tries to cut herself with a kitchen knife. Aunt kicks her out and she ends up in a care facility.

Girl cousin's first divorce of abusive husband.

2020s: My girl cousin's kids are adults-ish. Their eldest attacks his grandmather, is reported to the police.

Girl cousin remarries the same abusive husband. Abusive husband finds a side chick that he forces his kids to call mom. Abusive husband attacks girl cousin, her 2nd oldest intervenes and is punched by his father. She divorces abusive husband for a 2nd time.

Girl cousin meets new abusive boyfriend, heavily armed, former military and already married. She abandons her youngest by himself, he goes to aunt for help and she directs him to the nearest homeless shelter because she had kicked out her kids the moment thry were 18 and isnt about to show kindness now either. Girl cousin tries to marry former military, already married nut bar anyway. She goes missing for weeks. Find out after this had happened that aunt didnt give a shit enough to call the cops. Just let her daughter go missing for a few weeks as a treat? idk. Eventually escapes his custody (he was holding her against her will after who knows what happened) and runs back to abusive exhusband still with his sidechick living there.

The new abuse drama: boy cousin's daughter was engaged to you guessed it, an abuser. She broke off the wedding and it appears that the ex now has control over her social media accounts. Her family is unable to contact her.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] xkforce 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

There's more:

My parents weren't married when I was born so girl and boy cousin werent allowed to associate with me or my parents for years because again, super religious aunt didnt want their kids being around what she considered "unchristian" families.

While my grandmother lived with them, they had a baby monitor set up outside the room far enough that even my mother screaming at it wasnt noticed by them. They convinced my grandmother's power of attorney to pay them for renovations to their house that they claimed were for my grandmother's benefit. 10, 15k something in that range as well as 1500 a month for housing her. No one else asked for a dime because why the fuck would we? My mother almost lost her house trying to keep grandma in a familiar home environment and out of care homes and these fuckers wanted to contribute as little to her care as they could get away with.

Aunt harasses my late uncle repeatedly. He gets cancer, tells people never to allow her anywhere near him if/when he passes and then goes into a coma. The aunt and I were the only family members there. No one else told her to fuck off like he wanted. So for the first and likely only time in her life, she felt something similar to remorse. All the evil shit she said to him she could no longer take back. But she doesnt learn anything from it. She still treats anyone stupid enough to have a relationship with her like garbage. And she wonders why I fucking despise her.

And of course she is on the Trump train. She sent out a "christmas letter" that was nothing but complaining about liberals and how woke things are. And I am 99% sure the only reason she wasn't at the capitol on January 6th is because that side of that family is always broke as shit and couldnt afford to be there. She is, unsurprisingly, now blaming january 6th on "antifa" and started talking shit about my surviving uncle's kids, myself and my mom for not being right wing nut bars. i.e we are "antifa" terrorists apparently.

Then there's the business my surviving uncle co-owned with aunt's husband. Surviving uncle cant stand him so he forfeits control of the company and prepares to move out of state. This pisses off aunt's husband who threatens to come over to my house (where surviving uncle was our tenant) and kick his ass. Luckily nothing came of that. Surviving uncle leaves the state and aunt's husband mismanages the company straight into the pavement. Which is one of the reasons why theyre not doing great right now.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 4 points 10 months ago

This is depressing, I'm sorry. My family is very crazy too if it helps.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Had a test for a maths subject that I didn't study properly. Good news is I know how to do the questions. Bad news is that I forgot about the proper steps, which means I'm not gonna score as much as I would like.

On other news, got a few assignments done, which is a load of my chess.

[–] june 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I had a rad weekend in NYC. Got here last Wednesday and am leaving today, sitting in JFK waiting for my delayed flight now.

I came out to decompress after getting laid off last month and that I did. I’m also on a journey discovering my sexuality and I decided this weekend was when I was gonna find a boy to kiss for the first time, and that I did. And I enjoyed it a lot! Wasn’t like an epiphany or anything, but was def good.

Went out and went hard every night and I’m absolutely exhausted now in the most pleasant way. A dozen bagels in my bag, some souvenirs for the people I care about the most, and lots of good memories coming home with me.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 2 points 10 months ago

That sounds amazing! I love NYC. I miss it! Congrats on your literal and figurative journeys OP.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Found out my edodontist missed something on my recent root canal and I need to go back for some re-work, at no charge fortunately. But then I need to move around all my dentist appointments that were dependent on the root canal being completed first.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 4 points 10 months ago

My week is.....eh. I could work around the clock and never stay on top of my job, and I never should have gotten married. . But I just want to put it out there that if anyone wants a Bluesky invite please ask me, I have some.

[–] dohpaz42 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Part 2: So I'm going through a divorce, which means money is a little tight right now as I adjust back to a single income. That said, I'm proud to say that I just set up automatic investments in my IRA so I can start being more proactive toward my retirement. It isn't much, but for me it's a huge step forward. Thanks for reading. :)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Great! You should begin to see your investment begin to grow nicely in a few years. Ignore the dips here and there due to market forces.

[–] dohpaz42 3 points 10 months ago

Out of sight; out of mind. That’s my philosophy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Couple more days of work and then it’s off to LA for a concert. I need to be more kind to myself and quit with the binge eating so I can get back on my weight loss journey. Work has slowed down so the projects are starting up. However, after busting my ass so hard last year and only getting a few shells tossed my way, I am far less motivated to be number one this year.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Back into daily swimming. Feels good to make progress. Had a swim coach give me some pointers on technique which has helped tremendously with arm pain.

Going to the Maldives next week. Never been. Curious what it's going to be like. Open ideas. Still need to book a hotel even just cheap tickets made it irresistible to go

Got more measurement strips, so I am now adhering to my diet plan with more accuracy and faithfulness. Having daily metrics keeps me honest.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Going to the Maldives next week. Never been. Curious what it’s going to be like. Open ideas. Still need to book a hotel even just cheap tickets made it irresistible to go

Hope you'll enjoy it!