I was going to say its been both good and bad then realized I didnt really have anything good to say about it beyond trivial things. The reality is that its been mostly bad news:

The more dysfunctional part of my family has more abuse drama going on. To give you an idea of what "normal" is for them:

1970s: Aunt runs away with future husband to elope because his family was coercing him to enlist. They tell no one and are missing for days.

A couple years later he holds that aunt at gunpoint while drunk, eventually lets her go, no charges, they remain married.

Aunt becomes super religious, berates my grandparents for going to the "wrong" church until theyre sobbing due to the verbal abuse shes inflicting on them.

1980s-1990s:

My mom visted them not long after the boy was born and aunt would just leave him to cry "to avoid teaching him to cry for attention." He was maybe a couple months old... mother of the year already /s

They have a favorite child (eventually... the boy) that they seemingly treat well, fund his college (partially by "asking" my grandparents for a "gift") The girl OTOH they treat like a criminal from the beginning. She is never given the idea that college is in her future let alone helped.

Early 2000's: The grandchildren are born. My girl cousin marries an abusive asshole like her father. He beats her until she cant get out of the bath unassisted. Their children have developmental delays, one of them is removed from their custody by the state. Their eldest stabs his brother with a fork.

2010s: my grandmother's health deteriorates, she is diagnosed with alzheimers. My mom and her siblings take turns housing her. (I dont know why that aunt was even allowed) When it is the aunt's turn, she ignores my grandmother and makes her feel suicidal. She tries to cut herself with a kitchen knife. Aunt kicks her out and she ends up in a care facility.

Girl cousin's first divorce of abusive husband.

2020s: My girl cousin's kids are adults-ish. Their eldest attacks his grandmather, is reported to the police.

Girl cousin remarries the same abusive husband. Abusive husband finds a side chick that he forces his kids to call mom. Abusive husband attacks girl cousin, her 2nd oldest intervenes and is punched by his father. She divorces abusive husband for a 2nd time.

Girl cousin meets new abusive boyfriend, heavily armed, former military and already married. She abandons her youngest by himself, he goes to aunt for help and she directs him to the nearest homeless shelter because she had kicked out her kids the moment thry were 18 and isnt about to show kindness now either. Girl cousin tries to marry former military, already married nut bar anyway. She goes missing for weeks. Find out after this had happened that aunt didnt give a shit enough to call the cops. Just let her daughter go missing for a few weeks as a treat? idk. Eventually escapes his custody (he was holding her against her will after who knows what happened) and runs back to abusive exhusband still with his sidechick living there.

The new abuse drama: boy cousin's daughter was engaged to you guessed it, an abuser. She broke off the wedding and it appears that the ex now has control over her social media accounts. Her family is unable to contact her.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Good God what a tale.

[–] xkforce 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

There's more:

My parents weren't married when I was born so girl and boy cousin werent allowed to associate with me or my parents for years because again, super religious aunt didnt want their kids being around what she considered "unchristian" families.

While my grandmother lived with them, they had a baby monitor set up outside the room far enough that even my mother screaming at it wasnt noticed by them. They convinced my grandmother's power of attorney to pay them for renovations to their house that they claimed were for my grandmother's benefit. 10, 15k something in that range as well as 1500 a month for housing her. No one else asked for a dime because why the fuck would we? My mother almost lost her house trying to keep grandma in a familiar home environment and out of care homes and these fuckers wanted to contribute as little to her care as they could get away with.

Aunt harasses my late uncle repeatedly. He gets cancer, tells people never to allow her anywhere near him if/when he passes and then goes into a coma. The aunt and I were the only family members there. No one else told her to fuck off like he wanted. So for the first and likely only time in her life, she felt something similar to remorse. All the evil shit she said to him she could no longer take back. But she doesnt learn anything from it. She still treats anyone stupid enough to have a relationship with her like garbage. And she wonders why I fucking despise her.

And of course she is on the Trump train. She sent out a "christmas letter" that was nothing but complaining about liberals and how woke things are. And I am 99% sure the only reason she wasn't at the capitol on January 6th is because that side of that family is always broke as shit and couldnt afford to be there. She is, unsurprisingly, now blaming january 6th on "antifa" and started talking shit about my surviving uncle's kids, myself and my mom for not being right wing nut bars. i.e we are "antifa" terrorists apparently.

Then there's the business my surviving uncle co-owned with aunt's husband. Surviving uncle cant stand him so he forfeits control of the company and prepares to move out of state. This pisses off aunt's husband who threatens to come over to my house (where surviving uncle was our tenant) and kick his ass. Luckily nothing came of that. Surviving uncle leaves the state and aunt's husband mismanages the company straight into the pavement. Which is one of the reasons why theyre not doing great right now.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 4 points 10 months ago

This is depressing, I'm sorry. My family is very crazy too if it helps.