this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2024
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submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

People don’t quit jobs, they quit managers and coworkers. In my case I’d quit some coworkers and sometimes my manager.

But others coworkers are good ones I like working with, and the workplace is not very far, meaning my commute is so small I can bike there. There’s lots of downtime as well and sometimes my biggest trouble is how not to die of boredom listening to my coworkers’ boring stories because they feel offended if I don’t sit with them. I’m unionized.

I like keeping to myself and deciding what kind of people I want in my private life. Most of my coworkers are not this kind of people. I’ve been called a loner, which is actually true and it’s not a problem unless people bully me for it (because they feel offended by my silence, apparently). My biggest problem is office drama. However, wherever I go, there’s always going to be drama, so wouldn’t it be wiser to stay with the bad I already know?

I don’t get drama. It’s a waste of everyone’s time.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

ive quit from bad managers. ive never quit from bad coworkers. they can, and will be ignored. it doesnt sound like you have a problem with your management, so i dont think its worthy of jumping ship.

that said, the best time to find another job is when you already have one

[–] Bocky 5 points 5 months ago

The cool thing about having your mind made up about quitting is that you don’t have to try so hard to impress after that. You can slack off and not stress about it. What’s the worst case, you get let go? Let go of the stress and do some job hunting while you are pooing on the clock

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I agree that if you’re finding it hard to go in every day it may be time for a change. The main strategy I have used is to try to get clear on what you want, what you would consider to be need-to-have vs. nice-to-have. You can do this by making lists of things you like where you are now and things you don’t. The things you like are what you want to try to replicate somewhere else.

The main thing is to try to be more about moving toward something you want, and less about moving away from something you hate. Not always possible, but good to strive for. Otherwise you could end up repeatedly changing jobs to get away from bad people and drama, which, as many others have pointed out, will always be there to some degree.

I wish you well in your search. Stress is a real killer, and sometimes we don’t know how bad it is until we’re out of that environment. Trust your gut.

[–] Dogs_cant_look_up 2 points 5 months ago

Eyes on the prize man.

When i emigrated i had to work through a visa situation at a job where the owner/ boss was a massive dick. Eyes on the fucking prize got me through it and now it's a distant memory and I'm in a much better place.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Fake it till you make it (out of there).

[–] kaitco 3 points 5 months ago

You can pretend to listen by nodding and dropping those conversational bits like “oh wow”, “really, that’s crazy”, “you did??” every once in a while. This allows you to be “present” and allow the dramatists to waffle about whatever they want, and yet you won’t have to actually engage in their nonsense.

Also, what drives me forward when job hunting is the spite. Spite is what gives me focus and it helps carry on despite knowing what might may in store.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

However, wherever I go, there’s always going to be drama, so wouldn’t it be wiser to stay with the bad I already know?

If you're asking how to find the "mental fortitude" to stay, it's probably better to leave.

Also for what it's worth, most of my jobs have been fairly drama free. Some of them have still been utterly shit for other reasons but there doesn't always have to be drama. You've got a weird lot at the moment, a coworker who keeps to themselves is usually a plus not something to get upset over.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Doing it right now and it's hard. It's just hard.

[–] QuarterSwede 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Take it from someone who’s been in the work world for 25 years. There is ALWAYS drama because you work with people. Doesn’t matter the industry. The best you can hope for is management to help keep their stupid BS at bay.

Do you like your job function enough to stay? Is it fulfilling? Do you feel like you’re contributing? Do you believe in the company mission? Are you challenged?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

There’s lots of downtime as well and sometimes my biggest trouble is how not to die of boredom listening to my coworkers’ boring stories because they feel offended if I don’t sit with them.

In the grand scheme of things, that seems pretty minor to me, but then it’s not me asking. 😅

Do you feel like the job is preparing you for a better job? I’d concentrate on that — whatever training, certifcates, etc you can add to your resume — while you look for something that seems better. But I’ll point out that unless you know people at those jobs, whose opinions you trust, there’s really no way to know in advance whether you and future co-workers will be a better fit.

[–] HootinNHollerin 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I just quit, by telling my manager and his manager how shit they are and I’m happier looking for the next one

[–] AFKBRBChocolate 1 points 5 months ago

I usually try to approach questions like this as if one of my kids was asking (I'm older, and have been working for 38+ years). This one is hard because I can't tell if you're being realistic - and I don't mean that as an insult; you seem to be unsure if you're being realistic, too.

You're right that there's drama everywhere. It's also pretty hard to find a sizable group of people anywhere without having a few you don't really care for. My personal approach to this kind of situation is to try really hard to be respectful and professional to all of my coworkers, whether I like them or not, but to also be aware that I'm not obligated to socialize with anyone if I don't want to. It's 100% fine to be a loaner. If someone gives you shit about it, think of how you'd feel if they gave you shit because your shirt was blue or your height was average: there's zero to be ashamed of about those things, so it just makes them look dumb or weird.

But at the end of the day, you spend a huge hunk of your life at work, and if you're miserable you should find another place, whether your misery is reasonable or not. The key to being happy with it is to decide if the place is okay, and so you're going to make it work, or it's not tenable for you and so you're going to find someplace else and then make it happen. The worst part is having one foot on each side of that line and feeling stuck.

Good luck and let us know what you decide!