this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2024
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Recommended pregnancy/parenting books? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/parenting
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I hope this isn't an inappropriate question to pose here.

If all goes well I'll be a first-time dad this summer and I want to do my research. I've done some general searching online for answers to specific questions, but I'd love two or three more comprehensive resources. You know, the kind of thing to give me answers to questions I hadn't even considered.

I spent some time searching for pregnancy books oriented to men, thinking it could give me some useful insight into being an ideal partner during the process. At the same time, I'm hoping it'll give me a good general idea of what to expect. The results of my search were rather disappointing. It seems like the majority of books of that nature seem overly bro-ey and just generally too macho for me. I found titles legit along the lines of "Baby Hacks EVERY Man Must Know." Ok, not for me ...

A few popped up that on the surface seemed more promising, but when I looked into them I got wary. One seemed to be sponsored by some men's parenting social media site and the other was written by a self-professed influencer. Also not for me. (I'm on Lemmy because I can't stand influencer-culture.)

I finally settled on a book that seemed a little more my speed in terms of attitude, but with very little substance. It's basically 150 pages of, "Hey, you should be nice to your wife." OK. That's already my standard operating procedure, so we're good there.

I feel like what I want has to be out there. I'm just looking for a resource to tell me all of the little things. You know, stuff like signs to watch out for regarding potential dangers during the pregnancy, what the hell I'm supposed to do while my wife is giving birth, how to avoid falling down the stairs with my new baby, etc.

Anyway ... Do any of ya'll have any hidden gems to recommend? My wife and I are elder millenials so we've got some life experience under our belts. As it probably matters for the topic of parenting, we're quite progressive but don't buy into anything too woo-woo (we're big believers in science).

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[–] qooqie 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The one I always hear about is “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, that's one I've definitely heard of before but somehow overlooked. Thanks for the reminder!

[–] skoberlink 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Also, "What to Expect in the First Year" (or something close to that). We found it very helpful as a reference text when we were freaking out about something as new parents do lol.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Awesome! Thanks so much - I'll add it to the list.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Please consider this book and follow the age guidelines. It's simply a gamechanger. We gift it to anyone we know that's having a child.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, 5th Edition: A New Step-by-Step Guide for a Good Night's Sleep https://a.co/d/aBlK4uz

[–] TORFdot0 2 points 10 months ago

I agree on this as practical advice. A lot of parenting books just don't realistically prepare you for parenthood just because every child is just so different, but healthy sleep habits are universal and will make your job as a parent easier and your child easier to parent as well.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Thanks! This looks great. I have a feeling we might even get some useful tips out of it for us as adults with not so great sleep habits. 😃

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A new parent class will hit a number of the "how to not drop the baby" items, and give practice on swaddling (which seems dumb, but is great).

I liked "The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad" by Shannon Carpenter. Not for the how to, but the solidarity.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Thanks! We definitely discussed those classes where they prep you for birth (drawing a blank on the name) but somehow I didn't even consider that a new parent class could be a thing. That's a great idea, at least for if my wife's (late afternoon / evening) "morning" sickness ever ends and she feels like leaving the house after work.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I really liked "Hunt, Gather, Parent" by Doucleff for being critical about the way we(western parents) parent and what both science and history can teach us.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Ooooh! Thanks. This looks not only useful, but also very interesting to me as a history nerd.

[–] Protoknuckles 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The Simplest Baby Book in the World: The Illustrated, Grab-and-Do Guide for a Healthy, Happy Baby https://a.co/d/d4aBna4

First of all, know that every baby is different and every pregnancy is different. Best you can do is learn patterns, pay attention and respond accordingly. But this book helped me out with some good advice in an easy to read package. Good look!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thanks! In contrast to all the other great recommendations, which seem like a bit more in the way of heavy reading, this looks like it'd be a good one to pick at here and there when we have a few minutes to kill.

I also appreciate your words of advice.

[–] Protoknuckles 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's EXACTLY what it was for me, and about the amount of tome I had while my wife was pregnant. As to the advice... my child was 6 weeks premature, caught a terrible disease, stopped breathing and was in the PICU 48 hours after leaving the NICU. Today, they are a happy healthy 6 month old. You do what you can, when you can, how you can. Flexibility and preparedness helps more than having a plan you try to follow.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh god, that's terrifying. My wife's best friend recently went through something very similar. I actually had to check your comment history to make sure you weren't her husband as their situation was quite similar right down to the timeline. That's one of my biggest fears, especially as this is technically a "geriatric pregnancy" as my wife is over 35 and we had a tough time conceiving. We actually gave up on actively trying and made peace with it being just the two of us and then out of nowhere... Pregnant. As such, we're being super cautious about giving that little embryo the best chance possible.

I'm really glad it's worked out for you though - enjoy the new baby!

[–] Protoknuckles 2 points 10 months ago

Funny enough, we were in a similar boat. Geriatric pregnancy, bought Clomid, but then our little Joy came before my wife could start taking it. The sleep deprivation is rough, but after all the fighting we did, all 3 of us, to get my kid here and healthy, we're gonna enjoy it!

[–] EdibleFriend -1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

https://www.amazon.com/How-Overthrow-Government-historical-hypothetical/dp/B084DH8BMH

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Friend, something tells me that this isn't going to be the book I'm looking for in this case. (Unless it has a chapter on teaching the child to survive the climate collapse and water wars that we're likely dooming them to by bringing them into the world.)

Besides, I have a double major in history and political science. My bookshelves are already full of lefty literature (and liberal & even a little conservative) for when the child grows up, so I think we're good on that front.

[–] EdibleFriend 0 points 10 months ago

Lol I'm clearly just fucking around :)