this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2024
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Parenting

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I hope this isn't an inappropriate question to pose here.

If all goes well I'll be a first-time dad this summer and I want to do my research. I've done some general searching online for answers to specific questions, but I'd love two or three more comprehensive resources. You know, the kind of thing to give me answers to questions I hadn't even considered.

I spent some time searching for pregnancy books oriented to men, thinking it could give me some useful insight into being an ideal partner during the process. At the same time, I'm hoping it'll give me a good general idea of what to expect. The results of my search were rather disappointing. It seems like the majority of books of that nature seem overly bro-ey and just generally too macho for me. I found titles legit along the lines of "Baby Hacks EVERY Man Must Know." Ok, not for me ...

A few popped up that on the surface seemed more promising, but when I looked into them I got wary. One seemed to be sponsored by some men's parenting social media site and the other was written by a self-professed influencer. Also not for me. (I'm on Lemmy because I can't stand influencer-culture.)

I finally settled on a book that seemed a little more my speed in terms of attitude, but with very little substance. It's basically 150 pages of, "Hey, you should be nice to your wife." OK. That's already my standard operating procedure, so we're good there.

I feel like what I want has to be out there. I'm just looking for a resource to tell me all of the little things. You know, stuff like signs to watch out for regarding potential dangers during the pregnancy, what the hell I'm supposed to do while my wife is giving birth, how to avoid falling down the stairs with my new baby, etc.

Anyway ... Do any of ya'll have any hidden gems to recommend? My wife and I are elder millenials so we've got some life experience under our belts. As it probably matters for the topic of parenting, we're quite progressive but don't buy into anything too woo-woo (we're big believers in science).

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[–] Protoknuckles 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's EXACTLY what it was for me, and about the amount of tome I had while my wife was pregnant. As to the advice... my child was 6 weeks premature, caught a terrible disease, stopped breathing and was in the PICU 48 hours after leaving the NICU. Today, they are a happy healthy 6 month old. You do what you can, when you can, how you can. Flexibility and preparedness helps more than having a plan you try to follow.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh god, that's terrifying. My wife's best friend recently went through something very similar. I actually had to check your comment history to make sure you weren't her husband as their situation was quite similar right down to the timeline. That's one of my biggest fears, especially as this is technically a "geriatric pregnancy" as my wife is over 35 and we had a tough time conceiving. We actually gave up on actively trying and made peace with it being just the two of us and then out of nowhere... Pregnant. As such, we're being super cautious about giving that little embryo the best chance possible.

I'm really glad it's worked out for you though - enjoy the new baby!

[–] Protoknuckles 2 points 10 months ago

Funny enough, we were in a similar boat. Geriatric pregnancy, bought Clomid, but then our little Joy came before my wife could start taking it. The sleep deprivation is rough, but after all the fighting we did, all 3 of us, to get my kid here and healthy, we're gonna enjoy it!