this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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Not The Onion

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[–] jordanlund 78 points 10 months ago (5 children)

"cow that was tossed 30m up in the air"

How hard do you have to hit a cow to knock it 30m into the air?

[–] [email protected] 105 points 10 months ago (4 children)

With a high rate of mooovement.

[–] doublejay1999 49 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He had no chance. It’s was coming the udder way.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Think we milked this for all its worth

[–] EvilEyedPanda 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Naw I still got some beef with this story

[–] CosmicCleric 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Maybe we should steer this conversation away from the puns and back on track.

Edit: Extra pun

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

and a lot of moooomentum

[–] elephantium 15 points 10 months ago

Fetchez la vache!

[–] SquiffSquiff 2 points 10 months ago
[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 23 points 10 months ago

First assume a spherical cow in a frictionless vacuum...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

Trains have a fuck ton of momentum, and this was an express train. It likely also had a cattle guard on the front which could explain the air it got.

[–] souperk 11 points 10 months ago

It's like it was hit by a train!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

The average train in India is 24 coaches long, plus a loco and a guard van. Let's say the loco is 100 tonnes and the coaches and van are 20 tonnes each. That's 600 tonnes moving at around 100 km/hr. I can totally believe the cow flying that high.

[–] feedum_sneedson 41 points 10 months ago

The Onion would never - could never - publish this.

[–] souperk 32 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Florida Man: Challenge accepted! It's going to be legendary!!!

[–] cone_zombie 2 points 10 months ago

Florida Man should really become Marvel's next superhero

[–] SuckMyWang 19 points 10 months ago

Sounds like a normal day in India

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Tldr: the cow was launched by a train and flew 30 meters.

Hoe the cow gained more impetus than the train itself isn't explained.

Seeing a cow is a holy animal in India I'm wondering about the karmic balance of this situation...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Beginning to wonder if those Bollywood physics were accurate after all...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

Kind of expected "the police who were also relieving themselves..."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ur really milking those puns!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

How dairy make such a bad pun?