this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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How To Confound A Centaur

Centaur: Hold it right there, you can't just ride through my fields uncontested! I'll lose my credibility if we don't battle or something.

Me: That's fair. How about we–

Centaur: And it can't be a pun battle, I heard what you did to the sphinx.

Me: Darn. Okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?

Centaur: Ha! Alright, your funeral. Where's the finish line?

Me: That tree over there. Where's your horse?

Centaur: (gestures at horsey backside) Um...?

Me: You're not a horse, this is a HORSE race. You have to race with an actual horse.

Centaur: You want me... a centaur... to RIDE a regular horse.

Me: That is, linguistically-speaking, what you agreed to.

Centaur: ...

Me: ...

Centaur: I hate you.

Me: That's fair.

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[–] Duamerthrax 30 points 6 months ago

“What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon and three in the evening?”

Traveler: Me, when I wake up with a hangover in the morning, sober up by noon, then get so much withdrawal that I need a walking cane on my way to the bar again in the evening.

Sphinx: You need help?