this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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A Boring Dystopia
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The question is designed to be as divisive as possible. It categorizes large swathes of people into just 2 groups - man or bear. The man group contains mansplainers, but it also contains regular people who simply view humanity as naturally altruistic. The bear group contains people with concerns about men overpowering women, but also contains people who earnestly believe that most if not all men will try to do it if given the chance.
The problem is that people either are unable to or unwilling to acknowledge that these categories are not monolithic. And in claiming that all people in the man group are incels, you are inadvertently insulting everyone in that group. Likewise, in claiming that all people in the bear group are misandrists, you are inadvertently dismissing everyone in that group.
It is not productive to make claims about people based only on their answer to the question. In fact, it appears to be entirely the intention of the question to divide even rational people by exploiting the general human inability to see subgroups within larger categories
I thought it was from the woman's perspective. She doesn't know if the man is an incel or a regular, well behaved person.
The point is: do you roll the dice on the man, who could be anything, or the bear, who is a bear.
The known potential bad is better than the unknown potential bad. At least a bear won't rape you before/while killing you.
IMO, the answer given exposes more about the life experiences of the women answerers, and the result seems to be that their experiences have been bad.
My only issue with that mentality is it completely ignores reality. I understand that most women have had a bad experience with a guy here or there. What they don't seem to understand is that the types of guys that are doing these things are a small percentage of the population.
The guys that are pulling this crap aren't even gonna get offended by this whole "man or bear" thing in the first place. At the end of the day it just makes the rest of us feel even more dejected and apathetic about it all. Why should I champion for any woman when I'm going to be seen as a predator regardless?
It may ignore your reality, but the thing about experience is that it defines our realities, and the experiences of the women who responded make up reality as they see it. If they've had more negative experiences than positive ones, their reality is that the bear is a better option.
Based on so, so much of what I've heard/learned from my wife, female friends, co-workers, daughters, stories from numerous personalities from tv, film, and radio, MAGA, Andrew Fucking Tate, etc., I can't say that I disagree with the choice.
The fact that treating someone as a person hinges on what you get out of it is a huge problem.
That's a fair assumption from what I said though that's not how I meant it.
I treat everyone equally regardless of what is or isn't between their legs. I'm generally just that helpful guy that's always offering help to people even if they don't outright ask for it. I just try my best to make sure everything is going smoothly for everyone around me.
But I bet not a single woman I've interacted with would ever remember me helping them. They'd never remember me going out of my way to make sure they felt safe and were having as good of a time as possible. But they'll never forget that guy that made them uncomfortable. And that's all they'll think about. They'll ignore every single man they interacted with. They'll ignore all the men that didn't do anything to them. The men that treated them like normal human beings.
I'm not gonna change how I treat everyone. But it's really fuckin annoying to constantly hear "all men" when I'm actively going out of my way to be as helpful as possible.
Feels sisyphean.
The only people I've seen saying "all men" are men who are butthurt that women calculate the risk of being in the woods with a bear as less risky. None of the women who are choosing the bear say that.
I'll admit I've only heard a few say it here or there online but I've had several experiences irl with women who actually think and behave that way.
I've had a coworker get pissy with me because I was getting excited and loud and her "apology" was "Sorry I just hate men. Like all men".
Idk maybe I just got (un)lucky enough to live in an area where we have a lot of outspoken women who actually act like all men are fucking monsters and it's exhausting especially for me because I actually look like the type of guy that would do some of the shit I hear about.
I'm 6'3" covered in tattoos and scars. I look just like the type of guy women are afraid of. And as a result I get hit with all the bullshit from it. Despite being an ally and doing my best to try to be a light in the darkness.
Like I said, feels sisyphean
The bear will eat you alive.
And that's worse than being raped and beaten to death?
The worst devil's advocate you will ever do.
I'm in the bear group because I'm not scared of being in the woods with a bear. I mean that is literally going for a walk/run in the woods alone...
Yeah, that’s where bears are supposed to be! Where else do you expect them to shit?
No. Women are very aware that it's not all men. But the bad ones don't come with a bell. It's not about you personally.