this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2024
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I'm thinking about killing myself by jumping off a tall building, but I don't think I have the courage.
Well in case this isn't a joke going over my head, you probably have more to live for than you realize :)
Unfortunately it's not a joke. You're probably right but it doesn't feel like it today.
My last attempt was about 10 years ago. It started to dramatically improve about a year later, then another year saw more improvement, and so on. Eventually I got on the right antidepressant and honestly my life is pretty freaking good now. Hell, I'm about to be a dad.
You could not have convinced me it would get better a decade ago.
Dumb luck saved me. Please don't be like me back then.
I'm not sure what to do, really. It would be great if things did start improving.
I would look at resources in your area. If there is a prevention hotline where you live, they can usually offer better advice than I can.
Outside of that, what really helped me was accepting that my brain was trying to attack itself, and that I needed to be aware it was fucking with my perception of reality.
If your brain is doing bad chemistry, sometimes meds are the only thing that can help. I forget to take mine sometimes, and when I do it is usually a week before the old feelings start coming back. Talk to a doctor.
Been there. You start regretting it half way down