this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2024
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] [email protected] 77 points 4 months ago (3 children)

You might get away with it, but here’s the part that really sucks: you’d be stuck in the shed until they opened the next day. No riding a bike down the aisles, not even any trips to the bathroom. The alarm system likely has motion sensors, and the cops are called automatically when the alarm goes off.

[–] kmartburrito 63 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (5 children)

I used to work at Costco in loss prevention (for real) - yes you'd be found instantly. However, rather than calling the cops, the store would autonomously release the intruder bot 3000, which would deal with the problem and clean it up prior to store open. It's really cool what AI can do nowadays.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Nfamwap 3 points 4 months ago

ED209 you scary, jittery motherfucker

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (1 children)

They probably have employees stocking at night. So no security system unless you try to open the wrong door, but you'll still probably get caught.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Good point. That may be the case as well. Either way, no bathroom breaks!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hear me out. Pajamas that look like Costco stocker uniforms. Slip em on before bed. Gotta go, just walk quick, it'll buy you enough cover.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago (2 children)

There's enough birds in a hardware store that I very much doubt they have motion detectors.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Sure they can. Just aim/calibrate/whatever so they only detect stuff at floor level, or beyond a certain size.

[–] Viking_Hippie 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

..birds? Just flying around the store crapping everywhere until they start pining for the fjords? 🤨

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah. Like, birds love hardware stores. You can't keep them out since they can fly in through the customer doors or through the loading docks they use for the big stuff.

Birds getting into things like hardware stores, large grocery stores, or shopping malls is a thing.
It's particularly difficult with a grocery store since they tend to have piles of vegetables and fruit sitting on easy to see tables. I once saw a sparrow sitting on the birdseed shelf looking absolutely smug.

https://www.audubon.org/news/what-happens-when-birds-invade-stores

[–] Viking_Hippie 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You could just do like here in Denmark: not have ridiculously tall customer doors and keep the loading docks closed when they're not actively in use 🤷

I've lived here for all of my 41 years and I've never seen a bird in a grocery store and only twice total in hardware stores 😆

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

That's so weird to me, I see them all the time. They just walk through the door when they get opened and it's not like the doors are too big.

They just really want to be in there, and so you see lucky little sparrows pretty often.

[–] TragicNotCute 8 points 4 months ago

When you have mega high ceilings and big doors that stay open, birds indoors are a thing.