this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2024
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me_irl

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me_irl (lemmy.world)
submitted 9 months ago by robocall to c/me_irl
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[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Time dilatation.

[–] dejected_warp_core 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Interviewer: Are you suggesting that you left your previous employer at a substantial percentage of the speed of light to only slow down and arrive here at this very moment?

Candidate: I remember it like it was yesterday.

Interviewer: ::hasty note-taking noises::

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Interviewer: did not leave a two weeks notice

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

He’ll do it tomorrow.

[–] bruhduh 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sandevistan goes brrr

[–] dejected_warp_core 3 points 9 months ago

Boy, that career pivot to an Arasaka lap-dog would be kind of rough though:

Employee Eval Form

  1. Does the employee achieve their tasks on time, and under budget?

[ ] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [ ] Often [x] Always

  1. Does the employee pay attention to details?

[x] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [ ] Often [ ] Always

...

  1. Does the employee exhibit signs of cyberpsychosis on the job?

[ ] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [x] Often [ ] Always