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"People's definition of good is also different." That's exactly what makes working as a server a difficult job.
Take you, for example. It sounds like you don't like to be bothered when you're dining out. An excellent server might be likely to recognize that and leave you alone after the first or second visit -- as well as get your order right and bring your bill promptly. Even if not, there's nothing wrong with politely asking to be left alone, but you can't expect your server to read your mind. Some people do like to be bothered. Some people value the experience of being served while dining out to be as important as the food or the ambience. People have different definitions of good.
In your "first" part, I hear you talking about resentment toward feeling obliged to tip servers when they give poor service. I understand and agree, to an extent. Paying servers minimum wage (or more) would not necessarily improve the service, however, and could possibly allow it to become worse. The amount you leave as a tip -- if anything at all -- is still completely up to you. That's a big part of tipping culture as well.
As for your "second," and your "third," I'm talking about tipping culture at sit-down restaurants in the United States.
Because you are able to conceptualize tipping as a "a mechanism to justify suppressing wages" does not mean that's the only way to conceptualize it. Do you really believe that raising server pay to minimum wage (or more) would end tipping culture in the U.S.? I do not believe that at all. Because there really is a culture to it, even it is merely a custom to folks like you.
We can stop its spread -- we can refuse to tip at places that never expected a tip before. But tipping at fancy sit-down restaurants is ingrained in American culture. It would take generations of social engineering to breed it out. There are people who like to be able to tip for good service, wealthy American people who will seek it out. Even if it became the norm not to tip at restaurants, I bet tipping would been seen as a status symbol at the fancier ones.
And what about the "excellent server" I talked about earlier, who makes more money in tips than anyone else on the shift? To you, maybe that person is akin to some sort of prostitute, to be asking for extra money in exchange for personal consideration, when already making almost as much as "ffs EMT personnel"? Seriously though, no matter how much you raise that server's wage, they're still not going to be making anywhere near as much as they did working those big-money shifts for big tips. All else being even, they're not going to choose to work those crappy hours anymore either, so the restaurant no longer has its best staff working its most demanding shifts.
Anyway, it didn't really seem like you were punching down. It did sort of seem like you failed to address some of the points I tried to make about tipping culture in the US, and instead provided information about your personal preferences and bad experiences dining out at full-service restaurants. That, and pushing the single-problem-single-solution minimum-wage idea, again without really addressing any of the possible collateral consequences I tried to suggest in the original post.
Tipping is never going to go away, but I'd sure like it if they stopped promoting it on the POS.