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It seems to me that lemmy.world is shaping up to the big one. Given how quickly Lemmy is updating (it being in it's infancy and all) means that until the sharp curve of QOL improvements tapers off, we're going to see more downtime on servers pretty much everywhere. This is exacerbated by lemmy.world being "the big one" because the massive influx of new users from reddit is slowing things down for us a bit. I'd say if you want to be a part of what feels like the "main" instance, lemmy.world is the way to go. However, untill we see the traffic and updates slow down a bit and normalize, there going to be some unreliability. Lemmy.ml is probably the next best bet for a large and reliable instance.