this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2024
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The third most unbelievable part is where anyone would answer the door for door to door sales anymore
I'd be curious to know what they wanted. It's so rare that someone knocks on my door. Last time it was the police.
What were they selling?
Spicy water and electro therapy.
Oh? Did you get charged for that?
No they just gave it to me, they were very eager though. Kept telling me to stop resisting so I assume they were just really proud of what they had to deliver.
For measly sum of "shut the fuck up" we could buy "don't get dragged to the station".
We had been drinking and a bit noicy. Though honestly they were pretty nice about it.
I'm part of that second group for sure. Especially if he's hot. Black hair with that one grey streak. Hnng.
what about:
Fashion taste impeccable but hairstyling forgettable. Pass.
Early 1990s Gary Oldman FTW! That character was VERY 1990s.
I keep forgetting how many movies he was in just because of how well he melts into the role
So whats his number?
One.
Being a vampire wouldn't be so bad.
I honestly don't understand the downsides of it.
You don't even have to see yourself in a mirror, and I'm extremely pale and already burn in sunlight.
I'd get superpowers and require drinking blood? I'm sure I could figure out something.
If I have to find something, it's the long term psychological effects. You don't care about your former love as much as a symbol of that love, like a locket. Vampire homes are presented as formally being fancy, but have fallen into disrepair, thus matching their mental state.
But I still want to be Laszlo Cravensworth. I'm here to drink and fuck for eternity.
I liked stories where the vampires are productive like engineers or world class sculptures. Imagine being immortal and staying on bed all the time so dumb.
Many vampire myths come with some assumption that you are innately evil, from being a vessel for satan to having genuine impulses for more than just blood but cruelty and malice.
I like this take on the the vampire. To become one, you are dying, your soul moves on. A malevolent spirit then resides in your body with full access to you memories and the capability to masquerade as you in personality, but crucially, they are not the same person as they were when they were alive.
The vampire myth where you retain your soul and basically are just a superhero with stipulations basically exists for people to have the power fantasy of being one.
I would hate needing to go out and hunt for food every day. Prepared and packaged food, frozen dinners, and fast food exist for a reason.
How much blood does a vampire really have to eat in what period of time? Will other mammalian blood suffice? Because a whole cow, a vacuum sealer and a deep freezer could last a while. It's vampire meal prep!