this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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Off My Chest

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RULES:


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I need to vent. Mods, if this kind of thing isn't welcome in this community anymore...oh well. It helped me feel better at least typing my thoughts into the void.

I got married to a wonderful, beautiful woman in 2021 after being together for 5 years. My parents are big cruise fanatics. They go on vacation like this about once every year or two. We both told them before the wedding - because they did this for my brother when he got married - they can get us whatever they want for a wedding gift, just PLEASE no cruises.

And they listened! We got some very nice, very expensive bedsheets that were perfect!

Fast forward a year. I get a call. My parents booked a 4 day cruise to Mexico over the week after Christmas '23. I'm not particularly assertive, but I was offering pushback on it. I got told shit like "you're getting a free vacation" and "how many opportunities like this are you going to get" and "we tried our best to accommodate you."

My wife also didn't want it. Neither of us asked for this. But after a few months of talking about it, both of us agreed: it's free, let's give it a fair shake.

Fair shake given. We tried our best to like this. I'm writing this from my cabin docked at Cozumel. We deboarded the ship for 15 minutes and were immediately overwhelmed by the crowd. We turned around, went back to our cabin and are now sleeping the day away. Maybe we'll hit up the hot tub before everybody comes back. The crowd is too much. The longer I spend on this gargantuan vessel, the smaller it gets.

My brother, his wife, and their two small kids are also here. I think they're also pretty exhausted. It seems like my parents have gone out of their way to spend time with that foursome. As for me, I only get notifications once they're already somewhere and I have to catch up. I got a message saying "We're at Senor Frogs." I did not get "We're going to Senor Frogs. Wanna meet up?"

I feel like a piece of shit for not appreciating it. I feel invisible because I didn't ask for this. And I feel angry because I feel like an afterthought. I feel like I got invited to this because my parents wanted to spend a week with my brother's kids and I was given a ticket to tag along so I wouldn't feel left out. I wouldn't have felt left out by not being invited to something I didn't want. I wouldn't feel left out if I had been given the opportunity to say no.

I'm just burnt tf out. I want my house. With my quarter acre. And my neighbor with the stupid subwoofer. I want my bed (that doesn't rock because it's on solid ground), my cats, my dog, my plaid pajamas, my cold weather, and my coffee back at home in Oklahoma. I would have rather stayed home and built puzzles with my (also puzzle-loving) wife for a week. We are slow-paced, solitary, almost antisocial creatures. I'm wired differently from my family. And though I feel guilty for being unappreciative of their gesture, I won't feel ashamed of being different. I didn't ask to be this way.

Anyway, if you've made it this far, thanks for reading my rant. I'm done. We shove off back for the States in an hour or so. We're over the hill. We'll be home soon, and I will never do this again.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Some people in the comments are missing the point. You didn't want something. You told your parents you and your partner didn't want it. You were given and pressured into it regardless.

Do not feel awful for not appreciating it. It doesn't matter why you don't. Your parents have ignored you completely. Not just you on the cruise, but your wishes in the first place. It doesn't matter how nice Cozumel is. If you are stressed out from the cruise experience to start with, you won't be in the mind space to enjoy something else you might have if you were visiting it normally.

OP, this is not your fault. You have every right to feel angry. You were left out in many ways and guilted into feeling bad about yourself for not enjoying something you upfront said you didn't want.

I hope this gives you the ability to stand your ground in the future. Sure, it can be nice to experience new things and find out you like something you never thought you would. But that's up to you to decide. Whether its about a cruise or something else, only you and your partner should make that decision for yourselves. I hope you call your parents out on this, but if you don't, I hope you can always say "no" without buckling in the future.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

This is a very thoughtful response that goes right to the crux of the matter.

I could not agree more with this sentiment.