this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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Off My Chest

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RULES:


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I need to vent. Mods, if this kind of thing isn't welcome in this community anymore...oh well. It helped me feel better at least typing my thoughts into the void.

I got married to a wonderful, beautiful woman in 2021 after being together for 5 years. My parents are big cruise fanatics. They go on vacation like this about once every year or two. We both told them before the wedding - because they did this for my brother when he got married - they can get us whatever they want for a wedding gift, just PLEASE no cruises.

And they listened! We got some very nice, very expensive bedsheets that were perfect!

Fast forward a year. I get a call. My parents booked a 4 day cruise to Mexico over the week after Christmas '23. I'm not particularly assertive, but I was offering pushback on it. I got told shit like "you're getting a free vacation" and "how many opportunities like this are you going to get" and "we tried our best to accommodate you."

My wife also didn't want it. Neither of us asked for this. But after a few months of talking about it, both of us agreed: it's free, let's give it a fair shake.

Fair shake given. We tried our best to like this. I'm writing this from my cabin docked at Cozumel. We deboarded the ship for 15 minutes and were immediately overwhelmed by the crowd. We turned around, went back to our cabin and are now sleeping the day away. Maybe we'll hit up the hot tub before everybody comes back. The crowd is too much. The longer I spend on this gargantuan vessel, the smaller it gets.

My brother, his wife, and their two small kids are also here. I think they're also pretty exhausted. It seems like my parents have gone out of their way to spend time with that foursome. As for me, I only get notifications once they're already somewhere and I have to catch up. I got a message saying "We're at Senor Frogs." I did not get "We're going to Senor Frogs. Wanna meet up?"

I feel like a piece of shit for not appreciating it. I feel invisible because I didn't ask for this. And I feel angry because I feel like an afterthought. I feel like I got invited to this because my parents wanted to spend a week with my brother's kids and I was given a ticket to tag along so I wouldn't feel left out. I wouldn't have felt left out by not being invited to something I didn't want. I wouldn't feel left out if I had been given the opportunity to say no.

I'm just burnt tf out. I want my house. With my quarter acre. And my neighbor with the stupid subwoofer. I want my bed (that doesn't rock because it's on solid ground), my cats, my dog, my plaid pajamas, my cold weather, and my coffee back at home in Oklahoma. I would have rather stayed home and built puzzles with my (also puzzle-loving) wife for a week. We are slow-paced, solitary, almost antisocial creatures. I'm wired differently from my family. And though I feel guilty for being unappreciative of their gesture, I won't feel ashamed of being different. I didn't ask to be this way.

Anyway, if you've made it this far, thanks for reading my rant. I'm done. We shove off back for the States in an hour or so. We're over the hill. We'll be home soon, and I will never do this again.

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[–] Yaztromo 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It’s been a few years since I’ve been to Cozumel, and while the town is cute and can be fun for an afternoon when it’s not packed with cruise ship denizens (as it would have been for you), it’s the other quieter parts of the island which is where the island really shines. You two could have rented some motor scooters (or taken a taxi — it’s only something like 30km from the cruise ship terminal) and headed out to the south eastern corner of the island and chilled out at Rastas and Freedom in Paradise, or just upped your tan in peace over along the kilometres of quiet beaches on the east coast along the C-1. Or maybe you two could have arranged to take a dive lesson — Cozumel is surrounded by some of the best tropical reef systems in North America.

I get that you and your wife weren’t fond of being on the cruise in the first place (as a natural introvert it’s not really my idea of a dream vacation either TBH), but when you had your one chance to get off and find some space and peace, you stayed on the cruise ship. That’s a lack of trip planning, and that part is on you IMO.

So if you find yourself in a situation like this again, post in a suitable travel sub with you and your wife’s preferences and get some suggestions — well before you leave. And avoid cruising next time — being on a boat that vomits out a thousand people all into the same small town isn’t usually the best recipe for fun — especially for more introverted people like us. HTH!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I agree - part of this is on you OP for seemingly not at least trying to plan out the trip with your partner after agreeing to go. No duh it’s gonna be miserable as hell if you just stay on the ship majority of the time, it’s just a vessel that tries to comfortably get you to the real events: the ports and the towns.

I’m not a big fan of cruises either, but you bet your bottom dollar I’m gonna make the most of each area I’ll stop at if I go on one.