this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
827 points (98.1% liked)
People Twitter
5539 readers
477 users here now
People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.
RULES:
- Mark NSFW content.
- No doxxing people.
- Must be a pic of the tweet or similar. No direct links to the tweet.
- No bullying or international politcs
- Be excellent to each other.
- Provide an archived link to the tweet (or similar) being shown if it's a major figure or a politician.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Story time:
My ex lived in another town and I went there by train. She waited for me on the station platform. I saw her first and took a detour over the neighboring platform because it was pretty crowded. I walked up beside her without her noticing me. Mind you, what follows was completely impromptu (we were both weirdos):
I looked sideways on her tits (she had nice really big tits, like, top 5% big). I spoke pretty loud so a lot of bystanders could hear it.
Me: Hmm, nice tits! Wanna fuck?
She checked me out from top to bottom.
Her: Sure, why not.
Me: OK. But, I gotta know what you taste like first.
Her: OK.
We went on to make the sloppiest wet kiss tongue-in-throat-style.
Me: Your place?
Her: Yah, let's fuck.
People looked at us in disgust, shock, or disbelief. Only one guy had the widest grin on his face. While going I gave her ass a good squeeze. The looks on the faces were priceless.
That’s close to one of the running jokes that my wife and I have. When we’re in the grocery or department store and we spilt up for a few, when I find her, I will sneak up behind her and say, “Excuse me ma’am, I know you don’t know me, but you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Can I pay for your stuff and take you back to my place?”
I always think I’m funny. She? Only sometimes. Me? Always.
I wouldn't mind if you offered to pay for my groceries either wink wink nudge nudge
Are you a goer? Wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
https://media.tenor.com/Pa78nrgQkscAAAAd/survivor-omg.gif
This looks like Survivor? What's the context?
I always see it when the lady got smashed in the face by a watermelon but I think they’re really two different events.
Found this
I wasn't going to read till the end but you convinced me
My wife and I do that sort of thing all the time to each other, and it's always fun. She used to work as a bartender in a restaraunt, and after work I'd go hang out there just to be with her and sometimes I'd hit on her in the most lewd manner I could manage. And she would just lean into it, it was amazing.
That's legendary. You must really like acting
First time a comment got me to laugh out loud, nice.