this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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(American)
My family is always surprised that I don't celebrate Thanksgiving (though I do like to eat). Maybe it has something to do with the fact that everyone is Christian, right-wing, straight and hateful - and vocal about it, while I am gay, satanic, soft-spoken and not right-wing. Maybe it's because I see celebrating the day where we 'gifted' natives items that would knowingly harm and kill them, and even centuries later we'd still be trying to eradicate their people, freedoms, rights, history, land...
Nah, it's definitely because I'm a godless heathen who likes gagging on guys. Most absolutely. More gravy with your confederate flag napkins, aunty? I'm so glad you brought enough for everyone.
(I might have my facts skewed but that's what I took away from my history classes 20 years ago)
I don't think the typhoid blankets your referring to (at least that's what I assume you meant by "gifts that would harm them") were specifically given on the "first" thanksgiving, but you're absolutely right that it happened. Even if the first thanksgiving was 100% as advertised (which it probably wasn't) then it was a short-lived and tiny amount of human decency in what was otherwise a straight up genocide. Nevermind that the story was more about the natives helping the settlers than vice-versa, so really we're just celebrating the time our victims were nice to us while we were still getting ramped up on eradicating their people
I'm really worried about the day my wife's older Christian relatives find out my daughter is queer. The younger ones will probably be fine with it, but the older ones will pitch a fit. They'll blame me because I'm a Jew.
To be honest, "The great thing about being Jewish is I don't have to hate my daughter for being herself" would be so much fun to say. I know it wouldn't end there though.
Yeah, it's not even worth getting into it with them. They won't change their minds. They're stuck in their bigoted ways. My wife's great-aunt came to us crying before our wedding because we didn't accept Jesus into our hearts.
Yeah it's never worth it. I have ultra religious family too and the mental gymnastics they do to defend their prejudice is baffling. I have so many shower arguments that will never see the light of day.
I just know her grandmother and her aunt will love her no matter what and those are the two important older people in that side of the family. The rest can fuck off and she won't care.
Blankets with smallpox is a literally made up history fact that started in the 1940s because it sounded plausible. I used to need a pinned up selfpost on reddit for this fact lol.
There was 1. Literally 1... MAAAAAAYBE use of it being used as biological warfare at Fort Pitt... But even their own records people were like nah that shit's stupid.
It's about as stupid as when people started claiming the Blood is Thicker than Water quote wasn't the full thing... then linking to Wikipedia who's source was a literal Flatearther schizophrenic back2torah page lol.
https://www.history.com/news/colonists-native-americans-smallpox-blankets
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Fort_Pitt
One of the reasons I am partial to Harvest Festivals: all of the feasting with a better grab bag of associated hangups.
On the blankets thing, my understanding is that there was a single incident during the siege of Fort Pitt where a Swiss mercenary captain handed out some linens from their smallpox ward with the hopes that it'd kill the sieging natives. There's no proof the blankets killed them either (as opposed to an epidemic already circulating), as supposedly smallpox can only survive 24hrs outside of a host.
However, the widespread pandemic that is known to have killed thousands was not intentionally caused by settlers. That didn't occur for another 60~70yrs. The single account that claimed the US government committed genocide via biological weapons has supposedly been fairly thoroughly debunked. Of course, the smallpox had to come from somewhere, but it's unlikely that it was intentional.
Well, there goes my excuse for not wanting to interact with family members on a holiday.
As a straight man and while I also don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I don't think your gayness should be a reason to not celebrate a holiday with straight people. Your gayness would be as welcome as my straightness on my table.
Edit: I honestly don't understand why I am being down voted. Op expressed how they are straight and he is gay, as if that is the issue. It is not. It sounds to me as if they were bigots and pushy with their sexuality. They could be gay like him and they still could be bigots and making him uncomfortable with being too pushy with their sexuality. In other words, I tried to express that he should draw the line at sexuality but at bigots.
Their gayness isn't the reason they're not celebrating with straight people, the straight people they would be forced to share a table with are.
(I'm not trying to have a go at you or think your comment had any malice behind it, but the difference there is crucial)
I meant that one's sexual shouldn't be the issue. And 99% of the time it isn't. It is ignorance and bigotry. Bigotry towards (usually) the homosexual person and the ignorance of the bigot how much they force their sexuality on others.
Moreso 'awkward dinner table questioms' and 'quick glances to others'. I remember very vividly throughout my teen years that I wanted so desperately to reveal my orientation and (assuming everything went well) get reassurance and validation and yada yada. Every single time I was thinking about it, weighing the risks, someone would say some vile comment about a character on the show we had on, or a snarky question under the assumption that I shared their views, or whatever.
My parents are such a mixed bag; they can be really great caretakers, but fuck me if they can't be the most dreadful, racist, and condescending people too. My extended family is that but even more.
I came out after a stroke at 21 that I wasn't supposed to live through. When I did, it was in a therapy (physical, occupational, speech) setting. When my father asked me, "why [did you pick to tell us] here?", my response was "because if you started to beat me, help is just down the hall [nurses, security]".
It's not the divide between who we like to sleep with, but the fact that my (extended) family has very... strong views, and it - along with my changing religious views, and other big factors - pushed me away from them, to solitude. Gatherings of people I don't like, don't trust, who think poorly on me because what I think when one passes, or what people and activities I want in my private spaces, enrage me deeply.
I'm glad that it's not like that everywhere, but damn, I'm surrounded on all sides from where I stand. :(
Offering a friendly virtual hug if you want it 💜
🫂