this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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As a straight man and while I also don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I don't think your gayness should be a reason to not celebrate a holiday with straight people. Your gayness would be as welcome as my straightness on my table.
Edit: I honestly don't understand why I am being down voted. Op expressed how they are straight and he is gay, as if that is the issue. It is not. It sounds to me as if they were bigots and pushy with their sexuality. They could be gay like him and they still could be bigots and making him uncomfortable with being too pushy with their sexuality. In other words, I tried to express that he should draw the line at sexuality but at bigots.
Their gayness isn't the reason they're not celebrating with straight people, the straight people they would be forced to share a table with are.
(I'm not trying to have a go at you or think your comment had any malice behind it, but the difference there is crucial)
I meant that one's sexual shouldn't be the issue. And 99% of the time it isn't. It is ignorance and bigotry. Bigotry towards (usually) the homosexual person and the ignorance of the bigot how much they force their sexuality on others.
Moreso 'awkward dinner table questioms' and 'quick glances to others'. I remember very vividly throughout my teen years that I wanted so desperately to reveal my orientation and (assuming everything went well) get reassurance and validation and yada yada. Every single time I was thinking about it, weighing the risks, someone would say some vile comment about a character on the show we had on, or a snarky question under the assumption that I shared their views, or whatever.
My parents are such a mixed bag; they can be really great caretakers, but fuck me if they can't be the most dreadful, racist, and condescending people too. My extended family is that but even more.
I came out after a stroke at 21 that I wasn't supposed to live through. When I did, it was in a therapy (physical, occupational, speech) setting. When my father asked me, "why [did you pick to tell us] here?", my response was "because if you started to beat me, help is just down the hall [nurses, security]".
It's not the divide between who we like to sleep with, but the fact that my (extended) family has very... strong views, and it - along with my changing religious views, and other big factors - pushed me away from them, to solitude. Gatherings of people I don't like, don't trust, who think poorly on me because what I think when one passes, or what people and activities I want in my private spaces, enrage me deeply.
I'm glad that it's not like that everywhere, but damn, I'm surrounded on all sides from where I stand. :(
Offering a friendly virtual hug if you want it 💜
🫂