this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
1114 points (96.8% liked)
Memes
45124 readers
1414 users here now
Rules:
- Be civil and nice.
- Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Disagree.
She has long hair. Ok, not specified in the bible, but it's canon at this point.
Also the episode of Jesus whoring at the theatre... Wait what is this bible?
For a moment I really thought there was something in the bible that could be seen as Jesus "whoring at the theater"
If US Christians are making it up as they go and seeing whatever they wanna see in the Bible, then I call upon you, my child, to announce your submission to the Parable of Jesus the Whore of the Theater and the Christ.
I'll wait for a good uncensored chatbot to write me a seemingly truthful story about exactly that. I wonder how many people would believe it if I just showed them
Me and Jesus await with ’bated breath.
I wonder what he'd say about fanfics concerning him
Despite Him having:
I believe He’d be surprised if there weren’t Oily/Annointed/Christ Josh/Jesus fanfics of a charismatic 33-year-old, may peace be upon Him, taking it both ends, my son.
Might be in one of the Gnostic gospels.
Brawndon 6:4-7 And thus went Big J to the theatre, for Pagliacus was in town. But when the spectacle started, Jesus was overcome by the lust of whoring. And so it came to pass that he was brought to the tribunal for indecent exposure, and whoring, and petty theft and also grand theft auto, bribery, and contempt, and illegal possession of firearms, and possession and sale of drugs, and illegal possession of a dangerous animal.
Try posting it on Facebook. Your religious friends will be sharing it as hard facts by dinner.
Jesus had hair like lamb's wool, canonically.
And olive skin
No, he was the only white guy in the middle east, as proven buy all church depictions, which are basically photographs. /s
Or are based on Cesare Borgia
I knew the guy was an alien!
She is also white, like Jesus.
True true. And also christian, like Jesus the Jew.
i've heard about this supply-side jesus doing miracles. she pretty much raised some dead tent there.